if you are nuetral on the "bi/pan lesbian" discourse let me tell you something:
-people who love men being discouraged from calling themselves lesbians will not hurt them
-lesbians are pushing for the term sapphic to be more popularized to unite wlw under one identity

-if the term lesbian was determined as something to include men, wlw who do love men will have the bisexual label, the pansexual label, AND the lesbian label. wlw who dont love men will have nothing. no label to differentiate ourselves from people who love men

-theres no actual solid agreement on what "bi/pan lesbian" even means. the supporters of the label cant agree on what it means
-the lesbian label has always included transgender women and to say otherwise is both transphobic and lesbophobic

-non binary is not a gender. non binary people do not share one gender. this means non binary people are included in every sexuality and identity they choose, because they define themselves. the people who might be attracted to them do not define their gender

-the split attraction model is exclusively for people who are asexual or aromantic. when applied to anyone outside of that context, the model is nonsensical. a non aro/ace person who thinks they have split attraction is just experiencing personal preference.

-many, many lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals, non binary people, and transgender women, have spoken out against the "bi/pan lesbian" label and say it is harmful to their identities.

-male attracted wlw can use the identities of bisexual, pansexual, sapphic, wlw, and many more. all we ask is that they do not use the term 'lesbian' because it is the only term that non-male attracted wlw have

-many bisexual and pansexual people arent comfortable with being called lesbians because it contributes to bi/pan erasure. if the term lesbian becomes popularized as a "catch all term" for wlw, it will only serve to further erase bi and pan identities

-the term lesbian has been historically used to refer to all wlw. this is because bis and pan identities were not acknowledged. bi and pan people fought for their identities to be recognized as unique. what good would it do to start calling them lesbians all over again?

-i am going to add again, that the term sapphic exists as an umbrella term for wlw. so there is no reason the word lesbian needs to be used for this. lesbians want to love and connect with all wlw, we just want to have an identity for ourselves

if you were on the fence over which "side" to take on this discourse, i hope i was able to help you understand why this is important to us and that we are not trying to "exclude" bi/pan people from sapphic spaces

another addition: who someone has dated in the past does not reflect who they are in the moment. if you have dated men in the past it does not bar you from the lesbian label. only if you are currently and knowingly attracted to men, the lesbian label is not for you

because of comphet, this can make it hard for questioning individuals to know how to identify. some people arent sure if their attraction to men is compulsive or legitimate, and so they dont know if they are bisexual or a lesbian

this is okay, you can "try out" the label lesbian and/or the label bisexual. we just ask that you acknowledge what the identities actually mean, and not to combine the labels into a single identity

if you are bisexual or pansexual that is something to be proud of. if you are a lesbian, that is something to be proud of. if you arent sure what you are yet, that is okay

and if you arent comfortable calling yourself a lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual, you can always use the term sapphic, and being sapphic is also something to be proud of

adding another thing, in regards to the split attraction model, people have told me that the model is indeed important to a lot of non aro/ace people and i wanna acknowledge that. if people identify as "homoromantic bisexual" thats fine, however-

i ask that these people do not use the word lesbian to describe themselves. the word lesbian means that there is no attraction to men whatsoever. being biromantic or bisexual means you arent a lesbian

and again i strongly want to steer them into using the word sapphic instead of lesbian, when describing their attraction to women. being a lesbian isnt only about being attracted to women, its also about not being attracted to men