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I& #39;ve been off social media to maintain my mental space for personal reasons. However, I have caught up to the events surrounding @OkayAfrica and my phenomenal peers @AntoinetteIsama @kokothenut @ThatgirlXanan @ivieani @seenahgee and other Black women who have my support [THREAD].
I want to say the following in solidarity with these ladies, and the majesty that is Black women.
Dear Black men, now “holding themselves and their fellow brothers accountable” for perpetuating (directly or through silence) misogyny, rape culture, a false sense of superiority, toxic masculinity, and “traditional” or “formerly accepted” gender roles.
Please know that you are currently incapable of holding yourself or any one of your brothers accountable. And let me explain why.
1. You just got caught. As you say, you “were not aware” that your actions were destructive to Black women. If we are to believe this (which by the way, we do not) tell me, if you just found out this week that your life-long actions and mind sets were wrong ...
... how then can you unlearn and correct those very life-long actions and mindsets in 5 days? Furthermore, how may you now commit to accountability and teaching a masterclass on a subject you knew NOTHING about as of Monday?
2. You don’t even have the tools of accountability because you are still truly unaware of the deep-seeded, dismissive, and destructive ideology you have against the very women who look like you. And this is evident in your statements and "apologies."
3. I’m glad you heard the public outcry against your outrageous behavior. But be very clear, you have yet to listen, digest, unlearn or correct your ideologies. You haven’t even begun.
SO LET ME TELL YOU WHAT YOU& #39;RE NOT GONNA DO: Firstly, as the perpetuator of oppression against Black women, you have never, and will never be the thought leaders of what it means to love, support, stand beside and in solidarity with Black women, your very victim.
Secondly, how dare you even publicize your plans to build think tanks and become thought leaders regarding solidarity with Black women? In case no one ever told you, the position is unavailable, the application is closed, and you are not qualified.
Thirdly, you have a life-long master class to take, and contrary to what you believe, you will not the instructor for this masterclass.
SO LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU ON WHAT YOU CAN DO:
1. Seek therapy, from a Black woman, who will be paid to help you unpack your bullshit. Relieve some of the burden from Black women, friends, colleagues, and family who are beyond tired of teaching you the errors of your ways.
1. Seek therapy, from a Black woman, who will be paid to help you unpack your bullshit. Relieve some of the burden from Black women, friends, colleagues, and family who are beyond tired of teaching you the errors of your ways.
2. Take responsibility, learn how to apologize, and commit to learning. And yes, I say learn, because these public “apologies” are beyond my capacity to even breakdown and show you how outrageously unacceptable they are. You have yet to accept responsibility for your actions.
3. LISTEN. You have yet to listen - it’s been 5 days. There& #39;s no way you have truly and actively listened. You have only begun your journey.
4. SIT DOWN. Take several seats. You will NEVER be the thought leaders to teach others how to support Black women. In fact, let me be clear, we will not tolerate you, our very oppressor to now teach us, the victim, how you can save us from toxic Black masculinity.
5. DIGEST that, take a seat, and prepare for this life-long master class in the beauty, intelligence, strength, resilience and magic that is Black women. Because you are no longer, have never been, and will never be the thought leaders in this space.
6. Specifically to @OkayAfrica, pay these women back every cent they& #39;ve earned. Meet their demands, and PAY them to help redeem an organization that has brought so much joy to Black people at the expense of the Black women who made your organization reputable.
With all my love,
<3 Jasmine
<3 Jasmine
