i love a mike who is just. Incredibly eccentric. when you’ve lived alone for so long you’re not super sure what’s normal/not normal to keep in your house or to make for meals or to put on your car and you really don’t give a shit...imo that’s Mike babey!!!!

writing lists & reminders up and down his arms, scribbling on a tail light to “GET THIS FIXED! :)”, wearing a jacket to bed, huge cookout breakfasts but shoestring dinners. books in the bathroom. just little byproducts of solitude. kissing friends’ cheeks. odd, but rather lovely.

braiding the ivy. whittling his own utensils. a whiteboard just for doodles. a seashell earring. just...just SO much canning, freezers full of jelly. high fiving cashiers. bringing his own teabags to restaurants. paper towels as napkins but folding them intricately all the same.

windowsill planters INSIDE windows, but only bc they’re always open. Moving the runner rug around throughout the day, bc it’s thrifted, one-of-a-kind & so soft & why should he only get 2 enjoy it in the living room! besides, the guinea pigs could poop on it if he doesn’t move it.

making intricate sushi rolls and 30-step german desserts but flummoxed & disgusted by boxed mac and cheese. Asking the UPS guy about his dreams. Violin stand on the side of the bathtub—the acoustics are great in here! Mini sudoku in the coat pocket w/ rolls of instant camera film

spirographs hung on strings like party banners. party banners hung year-round: “CONGRATS!” every time u walk thru his door. Knows hot cross buns on flute but not piano. Dressed to the 9s to walk his neighbor’s ferret, galaga t-shirt to reunion dinners. magnetic swirl nail polish!

Wind chimes on wind chimes. grills fruit. open-air camps constantly. CONSTANTLY. Baby monitor on the family of foxes under the porch. Will fucking annihilate u at scrabble, and not kindly. Sparklers for every occasion. Has eddie beat for number of little satchels, purses & bags

Distrusts weather forecasts, trusts horoscopes. Solves complex math in his head. “Wait, can you not recycle [something no one should ever fucking recycle]?!” Consults mood rings and magic 8 balls. keeps nearly every foster animal. Knows how to sail. Trained lifeguard. Huge klutz

calmly wards off coyote, but makes Bill get the spider. “if you count the number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds and add 37, you get the approximate temperature in fahrenheit! :)” Ballroom dance classes. Tries to dream journal using only emojis. Daily smoothies (very bad)

obnoxiously giggly red wine drinker. a barb to near-religious levels. handstands whenever and wherever he feels like it. buys fun cards on sight and just waits for an occasion, wherein he sends 3. innocuously great at tying...certain knots.
fucking HUNDREDS of these, EVERY year.

always getting honey with the comb still in it, sitting on sofas upside-down, framing his photos of every moth found tucked in his doorframe, bike rides in the rain, google alerts for womens competitive badminton, doing this to everything

FALL EDITION: pumpkin-carving virtuoso (uses insta once yearly for these), googly eyes on gourds, unintentionally pretentious costume, turns into a tour guide on the hayride, bundling himself in2 ben’s coat, SILLY EARMUFFS!, toasts pumpkin seeds, uses stans binoculars 2 spot bats