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Ordered a dish of fruit de la mer and disappointed not to find a single current in it
Once painted a miniature for a D&D character but every time I used that figure, my dice were terrible so I has to stop using it. Turned out it was a bad roll model
What fruit can you use as sandpaper?
Raspberries
Raspberries
Does the Wookie in Star Wars really never, ever just swallow food whole?
Currently at work on a board game design idea based on famous literary authors through the ages. It& #39;s going to have some novel mechanics.
Archaeologists have discovered the settlement in Italy where Durum wheat was grown for the first time.
They& #39;ve found the pasta source.
They& #39;ve found the pasta source.
What idiot called this a "vesica piscis" instead of a biangle?
Why are people from Scandinavia the best at using text editors?
Because they& #39;re descended from vi kings
Because they& #39;re descended from vi kings
Where do baby steam trains learn to drive?
In a choo-torial
In a choo-torial
What shines brightly and poisons the water?
LED piping
LED piping
I once met a statistician who turned out to be an appalling pervert. When I asked him about it he said that after a while, standard deviation just wasn& #39;t satisfying any more
How do mathematicians relieve constipation?
Work it out with a pencil.
It& #39;s easier than working it out with a calculator.
Work it out with a pencil.
It& #39;s easier than working it out with a calculator.
You know what& #39;s underrated? Giving games lower review scores than they deserve.
Did you hear about the old man who was driving along and suffered blowouts in all four wheels at once?
He had to re-tyre
He had to re-tyre
Queuecumbers
Why does the pope get through so many pairs of socks?
Becuase as soon as he puts them on, they get holy
Becuase as soon as he puts them on, they get holy
Did you hear about the monk who kept on going to sleep in his clothes?
He just couldn& #39;t get out of the habit.
He just couldn& #39;t get out of the habit.
We& #39;ve got an apple tree in the back garden and fruit has been falling off since June. The kids keep saying they& #39;re falling too early, but I& #39;m certain they& #39;re dropping straight down
The most popular genre of TV among dried grapes is a weird mix of soap opera and news. They call it "current affairs".
Where do rowing enthusiasts give each other blow jobs?
Oar alley.
Oar alley.
What cheese comes in massive blocks and continues to weigh the same no matter how much you eat?
Stilton
Stilton
I found out the reason I get tired eating too much shellfish: it& #39;s mussel fatigue.
In this hot weather, when my face gets all sweaty I feel quite jealous of pet owners who have a chincilla
What do web developers order in Indian Restaurants?
NaN bread
NaN bread
What do you call a machine for encasing alpacas in plastic?
A llaminator
A llaminator
