this morning, i’m thinking about what will be used to make people care about my life in the event that I’m murdered by state-sanctioned violence.

this might be a thread.

i think I’ll start with what the media might say first though.

(1/10)

(Government Name) Martin, Age, Black Woman, Died in Custody.

(She) was a fat educator and activist who suffered from high blood pressure and had a family history of black people diseases. (She) struggled to fit in in school and often talked about burning everything down.

(2/10)

(Government Name) Martin was often seen as a troublemaker in their work. (She) was argumentative and hostile. (She) often struggled to do anything on time - arrive, pay bills, turn in assignments. (She) was known for her disdain for America and police. This makes sense.

(3/10)

And then this is what will happen - folx will try to get others to care about me. This will be hard because I am black, queer, and female-bodied, but they will try really hard. These are some things that they may depend on to humanize me and make me more palatable:
(4/10)

I was light-skinned. SELFIE. I taught kids and worked tirelessly. SELFIE. So many white educators loved me and were impacted by my work. SELFIE. I was selfless. SELFIE.

(5/10)

I was married to a white woman. SELFIE. I had a college degree. I SELFIE. I loved my dog. SELFIE. I was a jazz musician. SELFIE. I enjoyed the beach. SELFIE. I had close white friends. SELFIE. I did TFA. SELFIE.

(6/10)

My mama worked at a homeless shelter. SELFIE. I loved Dave Matthews Band. SELFIE. I laughed so much. SELFIE. I loved to read books. SELFIE. I also talked about love and dreaming. SELFIE. I was so joyful. SELFIE. Look at them smile at you. Look how human they look. SELFIE.

(7/10)

but tell them that I spent my first twenty years trying to make myself palatable to whiteness. tell them that it almost killed me so I chose to live Black AF until they killed me anyway. don’t try to make me palatable when I’m gone. i have worked too damn hard to be me.

(8/10)

it is important talk about the stories and dreams and personalities of Black folx murdered by the police, but I wonder if we are doing so in honor of their complex humanity or in order to make whiteness care about their humanity?

(9/10)

p.s. if they kill me....
1. burn everything down
2. don’t let them misgender me
3. take care of my dad, @ResidualAsh, @Yen_leen, and @biologywithjane
4. continue to dream and fight like hell for liberation

(10/10)