For the benefit of all our friends in the European Union who may be puzzled by the relationship between Britain and Ireland; the rule is that Britain demands that Ireland not upset it with too much reality, and Ireland usually finds it easier to go along with that. Thread

Long history of lies I
1171 - Henry II of England "I am the lord of Ireland"
Irish princes, lords and a couple of Norman ones "Sure you are, grand so, and off you go"
1171 - Henry II of England "I am the lord of Ireland"
Irish princes, lords and a couple of Norman ones "Sure you are, grand so, and off you go"
Long history of lies II
Plantagenet kings of England "The Fitzgeralds are not kings of Ireland"
Fitzgerald kings of Ireland "Sure we're not, there's a fellah claims to be High King in the Wesht. You have us all wrong"
Plantagenet kings of England "The Fitzgeralds are not kings of Ireland"
Fitzgerald kings of Ireland "Sure we're not, there's a fellah claims to be High King in the Wesht. You have us all wrong"
Long history of lies III
Tudor kings of England "We are kings of Ireland, too"
Everyone in Ireland "Sure you are" Mutters aside "Two counties should be enough for anyone, after all"
Tudor kings of England "We are kings of Ireland, too"
Everyone in Ireland "Sure you are" Mutters aside "Two counties should be enough for anyone, after all"
Long history of lies IV
1845 British parliament; "The Famine was an Act of God"
Everyone in Ireland "Sure it was" Mutters aside "Genocidal bastards"
1845 British parliament; "The Famine was an Act of God"
Everyone in Ireland "Sure it was" Mutters aside "Genocidal bastards"
Long history of lies V
1922 British Prime Minister "Ireland is not a Republic"
Republic *sighs* "Sure we're not, we'll call ourselves the Free State for a bit, will we?"
1922 British Prime Minister "Ireland is not a Republic"
Republic *sighs* "Sure we're not, we'll call ourselves the Free State for a bit, will we?"
Long history of lies VI
1940 Churchill "You aren't working with the Americans rather than us?"
De Valera "Of course not, we're neutral"
Hitler "Are you sure?"
Dev "(Oh, God, another one) Yes, but you have to stop bombing civilians in Belfast is you want it to stay like that"
1940 Churchill "You aren't working with the Americans rather than us?"
De Valera "Of course not, we're neutral"
Hitler "Are you sure?"
Dev "(Oh, God, another one) Yes, but you have to stop bombing civilians in Belfast is you want it to stay like that"
Long history of lies VII
1997 Republic "How about we just agree that we'll be lying from the start? We'll call it "constructive ambiguity""
Her Majesty's Government "Oh. Well, yes, but you would need that more than us, of course"
Republic *sighs* "Sure we do"
1997 Republic "How about we just agree that we'll be lying from the start? We'll call it "constructive ambiguity""
Her Majesty's Government "Oh. Well, yes, but you would need that more than us, of course"
Republic *sighs* "Sure we do"
Long history of lies VIII
2016 Theresa May "But Ireland doesn't matter really does it? Anyway they always give in to what we say"
EU "I'm afraid so"
TM "This is appalling"
EU "It's the reality"
TM "How dare you! No one does that to us!"
2016 Theresa May "But Ireland doesn't matter really does it? Anyway they always give in to what we say"
EU "I'm afraid so"
TM "This is appalling"
EU "It's the reality"
TM "How dare you! No one does that to us!"
Long history of lies IX
2020 EU "So they'll give in on every part of the deal if we just let them lie to themselves?"
Ireland "That's how it works"
EU "How do we do that?"
Ireland "Would you like to borrow our manual?"
2020 EU "So they'll give in on every part of the deal if we just let them lie to themselves?"
Ireland "That's how it works"
EU "How do we do that?"
Ireland "Would you like to borrow our manual?"