I'm not complaining about being a parent. The fact that I get to witness this little person becoming who they are, bit by bit and day by day, its like the most trite cliche thing you can say, but it really is amazing. Words can't do it justice.
But amazing as it is, it's not EASY, and the not-easy-ness of it is literally unlike anything else. Parenting is the pinnacle of human experience, in so many ways.
If I'm really honest, "parenting" in the abstract? Fucking sucks. Every parent knows it. *My kid* is great. The job itself is awful and no one should do it if they don't have to. But some of us do have to. And right now, with support systems cut off by a pandemic, it's extra hard
I think, if we had a just society, if we hadn't somehow politicized the idea that people should be able to live happy full human lives, we could have support systems that make parenting more of a priority. We kinda treat parents like shit, tbh.
And not just parents, but everything related to children and childcare is undervalued. We build dangerous cars and streets, we put cops in schools instead of keeping guns out of them, we pay teachers and childcare workers basically nothing, the list goes on and on.
One nice thing about a thread like this is hearing the good news that some absolutely terrible people have chosen not to reproduce. I am so grateful! Thank you! Future generations are no doubt improved by your decision!
And yes, of course having kids is (usually) a choice. If you actually read the thread, I think it's clear it's one I'd make again in the same way a thousand times, given the chance. On balance, my kid has improved my life immeasurably, and will continue to do so I'm sure.
But it is also the truth that: (a) having a kid has makes life significantly more challenging, (b) parenting imposes challenges that non-parents don't face, and (c) civilization existentially depends on continued reproduction.
Non-parents benefit from the existence of parents and children, and they don't face (and have the luxury of being oblivious to) the challenges that parenting imposes, so they also benefit simply by not facin those same hidden challenges.
So one group has to work harder than another for the same result, and society is structured in such a way as to reward one group to the disadvantage of the other. That's what privilege is, in a nutshell.
The appropriate response to learning that you benefit from a form of privilege you were previously unaware of is "wow, I'd never thought of that, I'll try to be sensitive to that dynamic and make it better (or at least, not worse) in the future. Thanks!"
The shitty average response is "how dare you! That's not privilege! My life is hard, too! Stop whining!"

Be better than the shitty average.
Note: there's also been some really thoughtful good faith responses from non-parents who I believe are mistaken in their take, but seem to be decent people. This was re the sock puppets and trolls. https://twitter.com/izs/status/1276553982475788289?s=21 https://twitter.com/izs/status/1276553982475788289
And here comes the troll army, so imma go private for a bit until I have time to break out the ol block scripts. Stay safe y'all.
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