Ok I'm making this thread and tagging #HazbinHotel since it's in relation to the whole kill art issue and I fucked up today
This might be a long thread so I'm sorry for having you sit through the whole thing but I just needed to get it off my chest and clarify some things I said:

And will be pinning it for now so mutuals who saw it can see.
Anyway. I'm done pretending now. Regarding Alfa and Alex, I would keep saying "they should probably just block or ignore if the content is upsetting to them." I'm contradicting myself here cuz while I'm saying that, I-

-am upset by it myself. However, since I came across Alfa and Alex's art before the whole drama happened, I was shocked to see what they were doing and because I still liked their nonviolent art, I pretended to be on their side or neutral when conversing with them because-

-1) I didn't want to start an argument with them since I still looked up to them and their art and
2) based on what I've seen from them, they will publicly post about anyone arguing against them for their followers to go attack them which I was afraid would happen to me. So all-

-the while, I just kept repeating that statement around them. However, when I was around others who were also against what they were doing, I told them how I actually feel about it. I was trying not to scold Alex and Alfa about what they're doing because I felt like I would be-

-shaming people for their art which was something I didn't want to do. Bit in all honesty, even tho I said "I don't mind kill art as long as it isn't to provoke people purposefully," it's not fully true. Honestly speaking, watching the characters be killed off (ESPECIALLY to-

-spite people) upsets me.i love Vaggie and all the characters as well as the ships so ofc I was upset when people purposefully made kill art of her. But I didn't say that to their faces put of fear that they'd send their followers after me to argue which I don't handle well-

-since I try to AVOID arguments (my anxiety just increases rapidly engaging in it so I'd rather avoid it). However, today I've done a major fuck up. I've also been following saltys__spitoon for a while and love their art. But today, I came across THEIR take on the kill art and..

Oh boy how do I put this.. Well basically it was necrophilia and rape all rolled into one. An artwork where Alastor decaptated Vaggie and used her head to deepthroat him (yes it's exactly what it sounds like) honestly speaking, I was horrified when I came across it. Yes I-

-was aware that they did put warnings on it and set it to be viewed in Privatter butI couldn't help being REPULSED by something as sick as that. Even if it is art, it's horrible someone would like the idea of that and a commentor even said that it made them horny. How and why tf?

I'm going to be honest here. I threw up in my mouth a little when I came across it. Not because I'm slightly squeamish (I'm desensitized to gore) but because necrophilia absolutely disgusts me especially done in a process like thaf in tve drawing. Anyway, again I stupidly was-

-afraid they'd take off on me if I say something about it especially since just like Alfa and Alex, I used to look up to her and her art so I wasn't sure what to do. I was about to comment something like "wtf" or "isn't this necrophilia?" but spotted Alfa in the comments already-

-arguing with people who were against it and again out of fear of her sending her followers after me (as she seems to be the loudest on kill art acceptance), I once again pretended to be fine with it and told salty that if people don't like it, they should block and ignore but-

-truthfully speaking, I myself was beyond upset and disgusted with what I was seeing. And yet my dumbass still gave in to trying to be calm towards them, not realizing until a few hours after how HORRIBLE my replies would sound from another person's perspective. Now that I look-

-back at it, I can see what about it made people assume I was supporting it. Firstly I'm horrible at wording these things, secondly I should have chosen to block them AS SOON as I saw the problematic behavior or AT LEAST voice my TRUE views on it rather than trying to suck up to-

-them because "I used to look up to them" and didn't want to create bad grounds with them and now I look back at it and hate that I let myself be pushed over and go against my own common sense and standards for the sake of trying to avoid an argument. But now I'd much rather-

-have spoken up about it than say such bullshit to avoid "offending" them because now I've most likely lost some of my friends because of this. They came across my replies to saltys__spitoon and based on my wording, assumed that I'm in support of all of it and are now feel-

-uncomfortable associating with me and having me in the server (I'm not going to calm names. I don't want people to go attacking them for their opinions on it) and I would much rather deal with anxiety towards arguments rather than WORSE anxiety towards losing friends who have-

-been there for me all this time. I can't blame anyone else but myself for letting myself drop so low as to say what I said in the comments on that post even if it was just pretending. In that post, I santed to say something thar I can build on to mention that I don't support-

-nor am into necrophilia or rape as displayed in that drawing (which I did mention in the replies) but failed to see what context it would be taken by from another's perspective. So basically the point of this post was to explain why I seemed to be switching sides back and forth,

-clarify that I do NOT support the kill art and apologize to my friends and anyone else who came across my replies to that drawing. I'm very sorry for making you feel uncomfortable around me and I understand if you still hate me for it and still don't want to associate with me-

-because personally I can't even forgive myself for stooping that low to avoid an argument with them and anyone else suporting it. I could have had the common sense to just block and ignore or the dignity to at least tell them what I REALLY think about this behavior. I'm honestly

-so fed up with all this drama and the kill art. Never once have I been under this much stress in a fandom before and I've had lots of unpleasant encounters before this. I just hope that more people who saw convos with me, Alex, Alfa and Spitoon will see this and know that it-

-wasn't my true thoughts on the whole situation. I hope that this could clear it up for you guys. At this point, I don't even care what Alex or Alfa say to do to me if they see this. I'm just fed up with all this drama. I can't browse my feed without SOME sort of fandom drama-

-popping up and it's seriously driving me crazy and has been affecting my me tal state for a while now but today really takes the cake. I don't have an excuse for following Alfa, Alex or Spitoon anymore since now it's all just mainly infuriating posts or gore art instead of the-

-regular art I used to enjoy seeing them create. That being said, I don't want to have anything else to do with this drama anymore. I've stated my opinion on being against this targetted kill art. I've already blocked most of those in suport of it whose tags I could remember-

-(Alex, Alfa, Spitoon and her main acc) and will continue to block anyone I come across creating it or attacking me for being against it. I'm sock of it. I'm done. The last thing I wanted was for it to come to losing friends over this and because of me being a people pleaser-

-nonetheless. Anyway, this post has gone on long enough. I don't support gore art nor necrophilia and as a message to Alfa and ex, I don't care if you hate me or send your followers after me. Your behavior towards the situation is rather immature and I don't want anything to do-

-with this anymore. Go ahead and post screenshots of me. I don't care at this point. I'm done. I'm fed up. I'm tired of the drama.

I really need to take a break from Twitter until I can clear my head or something.. My damn chest pains have been acting up and I'm fed up. Why can't we just enjoy HH without all this drama?
Anyway..this ending up turning out as more of a rant. Again I apologize to anyone I've-

-upset with my replies to those 3. Please rest assured that it isn't where I stand in the situation and I'm against the idea. Especially where necrophilia is involved. I love all the characters and respect all the ships so I myself am sickened by this whole thing. I might take a-

-break from Twitter or just limit how long I'm online for. I might just hurry up and make that sfw acc so I can try to browse drama free there, idk but I'm just tired of all this drama.

Blessed day/night everyone and sorry for the rant. I just really needed it off my chest..

Also sorry for any typos. The screen calibration's been problematic these past few days