So, typically second-hand embarrassment stops me from watching or enjoying so much media on my own.

But like... Beastars is kind of... messy and endearing... and I really expected not to like it, but I really do. I certainly expected something embarrassing to stop me.

And I'm finding, actually, that waiting to watch it until I've heard a bunch of people talk about it and *why* they like it and what experiences they had with it really helped. Because I get to see a bunch of those moments and be like, "Oh, I see what <person> saw."

A big thing about Beastars just struck me, and why I'm liking it. Gosh. Not sure how to feel about the reason it's connecting so hard with me. Imma need to think about this one for a while.

All the main carnivores in the show are men. And they're being told by everyone that deep down they're all violent and dangerous, and that they will hurt others given the chance. Carnivores tell each other that they shouldn't feel bad, and should embrace that.

Being very capable of being a danger to others, even by accident, and constantly trying to minimize one's impact on others. Being pushed towards that behavior by peers. Being talked down to for not joining in and being one of the guys.

It's about fucking masculinity and gender.

And the very specific experience that it's portraying primarily is one that I am intensely familiar with. And that's why I'm not getting second-hand embarrassment, and why it's resonating with me, because it's *my* specific experience being portrayed.

The reason it took me so long to catch it is because usually media uses different species to talk about racism in this thinly veiled way, but this is using it to talk about gender and the way people are perceived and expected to behave based on it.

And now that I've seen it, suddenly everything makes so much more sense. Geez. Wow. I'm still going to have to process it, but it's definitely something that's going to stick with me for a long time.

attaching this tweet to this thread of my experience watching beastars, regarding episodes 9 and 10 (there's a sexual assault). https://twitter.com/AwfulyPrideful/status/1277827275807850496

The two episodes after, 11 and 12, are very cute and awkward and sweet - the things that make the rest of the show so wonderful. Just like, yeah. Also there's a hook for season two which I will watch. But like, fuck I'd have liked to have known that they were going to do that.