The problem with "God is in control," is that you begin to believe that God is in favor of everything that has happened up to this point, including what you've done.

If God is in control and didn't stop you from saying or doing something hurtful or stupid or sinful, then God must have been okay with it. And then you have no reason to repent or change your behavior.

Or, if God is in control, then whatever happened to you (or to someone else) must have been God's will. So injustice just doesn't exist because God is just and God allowed this terrible thing. It must have been because you (or they) deserved it.

But it's not "God is in control." It's "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So God hurts when we hurt, grieves when we grieve, and lovingly corrects us when we're wrong. God brings redemptive justice to us and to those who hurt us.

The redemption of all things doesn't mean everything that happens is God's purpose or plan. It means God takes all our garbage and uses it for our good and God's glory.

That awful thing you did becomes a testimony of God's loving correction and reconciled relationship. The horrible thing that happened to you becomes a tale of how God forged you through the fire. God redeems all things. But that doesn't mean the bad things are good.