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MARIO: you are twelve years old
INKLING MALE : You are twelve years old
INKLING FEMALE: Your fetlife has some wild shit on it
INKLING FEMALE: Your fetlife has some wild shit on it
ANY BABY RACER: You live to piss people off
TANOOKI MARIO: You are a gay man, and probably also a furry
CAT PEACH: You ARE gay and you ARE a furry even if you deny it
ISABELLE: You "just want everyone to have fun" until you get hit with a red shell and become a being of absolute rage
GREEN YOSHI: You're just happy to see somebody not riding him for once
ANY OTHER COLOR YOSHI: You have a favorite color more than you have a favorite character
ANY OTHER COLOR YOSHI: You have a favorite color more than you have a favorite character
BOWSER: You are either trans or a teenage boy who won't admit to playing Mario Kart in public
WALUIGI: When people talk about memelords and irony poisoning they're talking about you. You main him in everything and are still mad he's not in smash.
WARIO: The less irony poisoned cousin of the Waluigi main. You think WarioWare is dope and you want it to come back badly.
PINK GOLD PEACH: You don't have a case for your iphone because it "ruins the aesthetic". If you do have a case, its probably fake marble. Also, you're gay.
BOTW LINK: You are Transmasc or 12
REGULAR LINK: You describe yourself as a "old school gamer" , or youre 12
REGULAR LINK: You describe yourself as a "old school gamer" , or youre 12
PEACH: You're really good art mario kart and i'm afraid of you. also you're probably gay
DAISY: You used to play as Daisy because you said you "weren't like other girls" and wanted everyone know you were a tomboy but still a girl. Now you're a lesbian who could easily kick my ass.
ROSALINA: You are also very good at Mario Kart, but you're probably also a massive pervert.
LUIGI: I'm not going to lie, I've put this one off because I CANNOT place Luigi fans. You could be 12, or a big fan of his, or a gay man, or a softboy with a very indecent camera roll. I don't know who you are, but you do. You're a Luigi main.
DRY BOWSER: You don't exist.
LAKITU: You also do not exist.
SHY GUY: So you may or may not just have a favorite color like Yoshi, but you probably skew a little older and really wish Mario Party was still good.
DRY BONES: Goth
BOO: Goth, gay, and probably trans too
TOAD: You're probably a child or a manchild, but nobody can deny you're really fucking good at mario kart.
TOADETTE: You are trans.
METAL MARIO: You are 12.
GOLD MARIO: Fuck you, log off
GOLD MARIO: Fuck you, log off
KOOPA: You've definitely considered becoming a speedrunner once or twice.
DK: You can't get through a race without making one "dong" joke. You've dabbed ironically so many times its not a joke anymore.
FEMALE VILLAGER: You probably aren't playing Mario Kart right now, because you're playing Animal Crossing New Horizons. Your hybrid garden is immaculate
MALE VILLAGER: Your custom patterns in ACNH are all memes
MALE VILLAGER: Your custom patterns in ACNH are all memes
*DEEP BREATH* ok... Koopalings time.
WENDY: You have some article of clothing or furniture that says "bad bitch" on it
WENDY: You have some article of clothing or furniture that says "bad bitch" on it
BOWSER JR: You loved Super Mario Sunshine and you've definitely said "I'm baby" before.
LEMMY: Everyone says they're here to have fun but you are actually ONLY here to have fun.
IGGY: you're the problem player in your DnD group, or trans
MORTON: What the fuck is wrong with you
LUDWIG: Trans
LARRY: "Hey can I try something real quick? *LOUD CRASHING AND BANGING*"
ROY: You are the best at Mario Kart because you've chosen the best racer. You are unbelievably attractive and c-
... ok fine. You're either gay as fuck or transmasculine and you need everyone to know it
... ok fine. You're either gay as fuck or transmasculine and you need everyone to know it
