Thread: Things NOT to do when you are reading names or introducing people in a public forum. 1/

These days I get asked to read names a lot, it seems. Graduation and award ceremonies. PhD hoodings. It’s fun; I actually enjoy it. I don’t mind the pressure. I think, most of the time, I do a reasonably good job. 2/

I am not perfect, though. I have made mistakes. I am sure there are people out there who will be quick to reply, dude, Sommers, you didn’t get *my* name right. And I am sorry. I am not and will never claim to be perfect. 3/

But there are some things you just cannot do if you are reading names. If you can’t promise to avoid doing these things? Well, then, it’s pretty simple: You. Should. Not. Be. Reading. Names. 4/

Do NOT go up there and wing it. Totally disrespectful. Find out if there’s a resource available for graduates to record their names ahead of time. If so, listen to these recordings. This is not an improv gig; you have to prepare! 5/

If there are no recordings, but you have a list of names, send a respectful email to individuals that says, “I want to get this right in front of everyone; can you send me the correct pronunciation of your name?” And then practice! 6/

If you really have to go impromptu with no prep? That’s a tough spot. Offer an earnest, sincere disclaimer at the start that you will do your best and apologize in advance for any names you don’t get right. And then follow through. 7/

Do NOT laugh or shrug if you get it wrong. Just fix it. I have re-read names before to get it right. But you don’t get to laugh—it is NOT funny. You don’t get to shrug it off—it is NOT trivial or unimportant. If you don’t think it’s an important job, don’t take it on! 8/

Do NOT say anything resembling, “uh-oh, this one is hard.” The name is not the problem. You are the problem. You lack the ability, knowledge, or effort to read it correctly. Remember, there are plenty of cultures in which *your* name is a so-called hard one. 9/

Do NOT joke, “phew, back to an easy one” when you get to, let's say, Bob Smith’s name. Same problem as above. Much as calling a name hard-to-pronounce puts a person in the category “other,” this joke does the same to all the non-Bob Smiths in the crowd. 10/

I’m sure I’m leaving out some no-nos in this list. Feel free to add your own—unfortunately, I know a lot of people have been on the receiving end of bad name reading experiences. I’m sorry about that; that sucks. 11/

And let’s face it: in the U.S., these bad experiences happen disproportionately to international students or people of color more generally. It’s just one more ignominy and microaggression to stomach, on what’s supposed to be a day of celebration. That’s not OK. 12/

Reading names is hard. I read 200+ Psychology seniors every May at graduation. No prep time. I get handed a degree card. I get 2 seconds off-mic to confirm with the student. Then it’s go-time. In front of classmates, friends, and families. The job isn’t to be perfect. 13/

The job is to be energetic, reading each name the way you would if it were the only name you had to read. The family doesn’t care that you have 199 others to read. They just want to hear the name of their loved one ring out loudly and with enthusiasm. 14/

The job is also to be conscientious. Do everything you possibly can to get it right; be humble and contrite and respectful if you don’t. 15/

I can’t stress this enough: if you feel unfamiliar with names associated with a wide range of cultures, languages, and parts of the world, either practice, practice, practice… or turn down the invitation to serve as reader. 16/

I find it physically uncomfortable to sit in the audience and listen to a reader butcher a name, shrug it off, and then make a joke about how hard the name was. Just imagine how deflating and othering that is for the student and their family. 17/

Next time I hear it, I may very well jump up and yell: “It’s not the name! The name is great. It’s you! You’re doing the crappy job.” Only a bad worker blames their tools; only a bad reader blames the names. 18/

On the flip side, doing it right can lead to wonderful moments. In another gig, I read names at the hooding ceremony for PhD students across depts. For this, I do get recordings and can practice ahead of time. 19/

A few years ago, a new graduate from China came up to me afterward in tears. She told me that in 5 years on this campus, it was the first time that a non-Chinese speaker had managed to get her name right. 20/

She had braced herself to hear it said wrong, yet again, one final time. She said she was so surprised to hear it right, that it was like a huge weight had been lifted. And she just lost it, all the previous emotion and frustration just pouring out. 21/

Don’t be part of the problem. Don’t add to the challenge and obstacle and othering that many international students and students of color already face as they work toward their degree. Especially on this, a day to celebrate. 22/

TL; DR: Reading names is a privilege and your job is to prepare and make everyone feel included, acknowledged, and celebrated. If you can’t pull that off, ask them to find someone else instead who can. 23/23