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Someday I want to write a villain based on a boss I had when I was 24. Let’s call her Barbara. She was like Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada, but so much worse. 1/
She was in her 50s and lived in the city, but she had some compound estate somewhere where she bred Maine Coon cats. She had 2 of said cats in her city place.
On Mondays, she gave us each 2 new cat photos and we were required to post them prominently at our desks. 2/
On Mondays, she gave us each 2 new cat photos and we were required to post them prominently at our desks. 2/
So you had like 50 cat photos at your desk. She’s walk around on Monday late afternoon and do spot checks.
“WHERE ARE THE BOYS?”
(That’s what she called her cats.) 3/
“WHERE ARE THE BOYS?”
(That’s what she called her cats.) 3/
Once she snatched the binder out of my hands. I thought she was going to hit me with it. She had those EYES.
She said “aren’t they gorgeous, don’t you just want to have s*x with them?” In real life. Then laughed maniacally. 4/
She said “aren’t they gorgeous, don’t you just want to have s*x with them?” In real life. Then laughed maniacally. 4/
Sometimes she would come into the office i shared with this other woman and started screaming. Screaming and sometimes sobbing. Makeup everywhere. Sometimes she would grab her skin in handfuls and scream. 5/
She also had a large, large large parrot. 6/
The parrot was mean. She came in with bloody welts all over her hands from it. Huge bite marks, band aids, and scratches all over her arms and chest when she’d visited her cattery. 7/
Once I walked into the break room and she had this massive bar set up. So MUCH booze. Enough for a wedding. There were 5 of us! She whipped around grinning. “Let’s celebrate!!” 8/
Anyway I want to write a villain based off her, but I think it would read as over the top.
Sometimes she would say, “come into my office and close the door,” and my blood would run cold.
9/
Sometimes she would say, “come into my office and close the door,” and my blood would run cold.
9/
Things that happened next ranged from:
-screaming
-singing
-sobbing
-hours-long slide shows of The Boys on her office projector
-sex talks
-extremely personal disclosures
-rants about the company owners 10/
-screaming
-singing
-sobbing
-hours-long slide shows of The Boys on her office projector
-sex talks
-extremely personal disclosures
-rants about the company owners 10/
The worst ones began with the words, “look at you.”
You’d spin around and she’d be watching you. Eyes raking down your body.
“LOOK AT YOU.”
You’d try to fade into the wallpaper.
Pause.
Heartbeat.
“Come into my office.”
11/
You’d spin around and she’d be watching you. Eyes raking down your body.
“LOOK AT YOU.”
You’d try to fade into the wallpaper.
Pause.
Heartbeat.
“Come into my office.”
11/
Anyway she’s doing fine now. She’s been promoted many times. She’s a boss of bosses. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen"> 12/
And I’m sure she still has terrified 24YOs in the office who can’t quit bc they have to pay their rent...
What if one of them snapped?? 13/
What if one of them snapped?? 13/
AND A PLOT ENSUED???
Anyway this is what procrastination looks like. I’m supposed to be writing. 14/
Anyway this is what procrastination looks like. I’m supposed to be writing. 14/
