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I know these people. They run in my circles, they& #39;ve been friends to me.
But I also saw this argument Wendy is describing start and what I witnessed, while not the entirety, was infuriating.
I know nobody& #39;s first impulse when they feel kink-shamed is to be chill but damn, y& #39;all https://twitter.com/thewenchworks/status/1275480520303001601">https://twitter.com/thewenchw...
But I also saw this argument Wendy is describing start and what I witnessed, while not the entirety, was infuriating.
I know nobody& #39;s first impulse when they feel kink-shamed is to be chill but damn, y& #39;all https://twitter.com/thewenchworks/status/1275480520303001601">https://twitter.com/thewenchw...
When I got the news a few months later that Wendy straight up left after this argument, some things became apparent to me:
I failed to keep showing up & engaging @ a crucial time for my friend
Also our community still does racist-ass bullshit even if race isn& #39;t the topic.
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I failed to keep showing up & engaging @ a crucial time for my friend
Also our community still does racist-ass bullshit even if race isn& #39;t the topic.
That argument was a shitstorm. I think many folx showed more of their ass than realized or intended.
CW: CSA CGL DDLG...
Many of us who have endured CSA and been active in CGL/DDLG had a lot to say.
As a community, lots of kinky ppl struggle to be kink critical & still sex-pos
CW: CSA CGL DDLG...
Many of us who have endured CSA and been active in CGL/DDLG had a lot to say.
As a community, lots of kinky ppl struggle to be kink critical & still sex-pos
And being sex or kink critical doesn& #39;t inherently mean we don& #39;t do x act (or that we do), or that we think everyone should or shouldn& #39;t.
This discussion got out of hand really fast because a lot of CGL enthusiasts felt shamed and rushed to argue and tone police.
This discussion got out of hand really fast because a lot of CGL enthusiasts felt shamed and rushed to argue and tone police.
What feeling shamed doesn& #39;t excuse is a bunch of white people, esp popular yt ppl, dogpiling a Black woman still new in our community & insisting she has no idea what she& #39;s talking about until she leaves.
JFC.
JFC.
CW: CSA CGL DDLG... ...
PSA: Nobody& #39;s CSA or other trauma is more valid than anyone& #39;s else.
PSA: Nobody& #39;s CSA or other trauma is more valid than anyone& #39;s else.
CW: CSA CGL DDLG... ...
PSA: Your positive relationships with DDLG don& #39;t erase other peoples& #39; negative or critical experiences or thoughts about it.
Even if it helped cope with your CSA but hurts theirs.
They& #39;re still allowed to share their own thoughts and feelings.
PSA: Your positive relationships with DDLG don& #39;t erase other peoples& #39; negative or critical experiences or thoughts about it.
Even if it helped cope with your CSA but hurts theirs.
They& #39;re still allowed to share their own thoughts and feelings.
I feel like those shouldn& #39;t need to be PSAs, but y& #39;all are my pals and that shit was handled WRONG.
and we, white bloggers, ain& #39;t actin& #39; right the longer we use our platforms and whiteness to silence Black voices.
and we, white bloggers, ain& #39;t actin& #39; right the longer we use our platforms and whiteness to silence Black voices.
The issue here is how the community handled it
Instead of having this discussion & going away mad my yt cohorts acted shitty enough a Black woman felt she had to leave this community because it& #39;s not filled with yt allies, just yt assholes
She& #39;s not the only one.
That& #39;s wrong!
Instead of having this discussion & going away mad my yt cohorts acted shitty enough a Black woman felt she had to leave this community because it& #39;s not filled with yt allies, just yt assholes
She& #39;s not the only one.
That& #39;s wrong!
We seriously cannot keep this shit up, y& #39;all realize the "white blogging elite look" creates more barriers than new bloggers, right?
It& #39;s not just a bad look, it& #39;s unethical as shit.
It& #39;s not just a bad look, it& #39;s unethical as shit.
If we keep running out BIPoC bloggers then it& #39;s only going to be a circlejerk of people doing white feminism, which is only good for yt fee-fees and yt wallets, not actual justice on any level.
So!
Are you a white blogger who fucked up?
I& #39;ll proofread your apology so you don& #39;t sound like a twat.
I& #39;ll listen to your hurt feelings so you needn& #39;t fill the tweether with them and look like an ass RN.
We all fuck up.
I fuck up! I& #39;ve fucked up!
Conjugate it as you please.
Are you a white blogger who fucked up?
I& #39;ll proofread your apology so you don& #39;t sound like a twat.
I& #39;ll listen to your hurt feelings so you needn& #39;t fill the tweether with them and look like an ass RN.
We all fuck up.
I fuck up! I& #39;ve fucked up!
Conjugate it as you please.
If you& #39;re a BIPoC blogger and you want a white person w 9 yrs seniority to call another white blogger in about racist conduct bc you didn& #39;t feel safe calling it out
you are welcome to come to me.
I& #39;ll DM anybody I can who hasn& #39;t blocked me.
you are welcome to come to me.
I& #39;ll DM anybody I can who hasn& #39;t blocked me.
My DMs have been open for years, any of you are welcome to slide in and tell me who to correct.
Everything in my life takes a while but I& #39;ll do what I can, when I can.
If you& #39;re another blogger willing to help correct your white friends, you& #39;re welcome to reply + say so.
Everything in my life takes a while but I& #39;ll do what I can, when I can.
If you& #39;re another blogger willing to help correct your white friends, you& #39;re welcome to reply + say so.
I& #39;m willing to mediate to a degree if you need a referee, but I& #39;m not "unbiased" per se bc I& #39;m well aware of how privilege affects the behavior of veteran bloggers
and so I tend to analyze w the people who don& #39;t have thousands of sycophants to defend them if it goes public.
and so I tend to analyze w the people who don& #39;t have thousands of sycophants to defend them if it goes public.
And if you& #39;re a blogger who wants to focus on being accountable, apologetic, and genuinely behaving as an ally to the Black community
Instead of focusing on performative allyship and damage control after this
I& #39;ll work with you to do better and figure out where to go next.
Instead of focusing on performative allyship and damage control after this
I& #39;ll work with you to do better and figure out where to go next.
