people at IGN considered me the "soulsborne" expert. i reviewed dark souls 3, nioh, worked SO hard on a minidoc on the legacy of fromsoft. they stopped letting me do my own VO on my videos. why? it's dark souls so it needed a "masculine" voice attached. https://twitter.com/Teanah/status/1275491588479672320

it was all part of a general effort to control who was "allowed" to be on camera - who was hot enough, who was femme enough. i couldn't put my voice on my own features but i had to sit in the VO booth with men making 2x my income and walk them through how to pronounce "lordran."

i pitched doing an indie game-focused show to replace my struggling free games column but the idea (and my column) were rolled over. and then the idea was stolen and done anyway. without my involvement. like on top of the bullying and harassment, why did i even bother?

you can't just hire a bunch of people from diverse backgrounds and then maintain the same old-fashioned culture. i was hired at a time when IGN WANTED to diversify, but it also wanted to maintain a certain image - an image that i and others couldn't reflect. so we were sidelined.

i'd like to say i'm over this stuff, but it still hurts sometimes. the only manager at that ENTIRE company who ever listened with genuine compassion and demonstrated a TRUE investment in making the culture at IGN safer and more welcoming was sam claiborn. sam is a hero!!

it makes me happy to see a lot of new talent at IGN getting opportunities and thriving in a way some of us couldn't, too. i trust when friends say it's in a better place now. i just want people to realize that this kind of culture only changes when workers unite as a COLLECTIVE.

none of what any of us suffered individually at IGN over the years was ever really engaged with until we all stood together and demanded accountability as a TEAM - refusing to work until an HR investigation was taken seriously, going to HR in GROUPS to ensure no one was silenced.

toxic workplace culture is a labor issue. it can only be solved with worker solidarity, not sensitivity & anti-harassment training. those are FINE but they're bandaids - HR's way of saying "we did our job!" HR's job is to protect the company. our job is to protect our peers.

i'm not bringing this stuff up to rehash old drama or drag anyone who works there now through the mud. i just want to be honest about what goes on behind the scenes when you have incompetent, bigoted management. all of this PLUS the bullying and sexual harassment!! it was hell.

i used to get these intense chest/heart pains multiple times a day at work. i'd go to the doctor just to get shrugged off, misdiagnosed, and prescribed medication i never picked up. for YEARS. the pains stopped the day i quit and i haven't had them since. anxiety can fuck you up.