Something I’ve learned through therapy is that people can be kind and positive toward some, but exhibit abusive behavior to others

Just because YOU got the good parts doesn’t mean they haven’t abused people

Don’t discredit victims just because YOUR experience was different

To give some context, I grew up in a household where fault was always put on me during conflict, despite me feeling wronged in every situation. The person in that household that should have stood up for me did not, (and still has not). They made me feel even more in the wrong

I can’t remember the last time I was told “I’m proud of you” in this household. They implied that my depression was MY fault. They tried to villainize my mother after she passed away

But they were kind, gracious, and charismatic to everyone else. What was I doing wrong?

I wasn’t doing anything wrong; I was just at the short end of their kindness. It did not extend to me

And for YEARS, I bent over backwards trying not to make them upset. Trying to make sure I had their love and acceptance. But they just weren’t sympathetic to me. Whatever.

All of this to say that perpetrators do not have to be abusive to YOU to still be abusive to someone.

Believe people when they tell their stories. They had to fight more self-doubt than you can realize to speak up. To realize that they were wronged. To realize they were victims