Why reminders don’t work for us — thread:

The more often those of us with #ADHD are reminded to do something we don’t know how to do,

or at a time when we can’t do it,

the more we get used to ignoring those reminders,

until at some point they’re no longer effective.

“Clean your room” might seem like one task but it’s actually many tasks, & those of us w/ executive function challenges may not know where to start. Navigating new systems is even harder. If we didn’t get enough sleep (common w/ADHD) our symptoms are worse & it’s even harder.

On top of that, past failures and shame often create a “wall of awful” so that even “easy” tasks are daunting. (more on the wall of awful here: ) It’s not just the task we’re tackling, it’s the *emotion* that task brings up.

And because ADHD brains are somewhat “time blind,” reminders often happen at a time when we can’t actually do the thing. (We thought we’d be home by that time, but we weren’t).

Reminders are only effective if they prompt us to action. Which a lot of the time, they don’t.

Ideas to increase the likelihood of them working:

When giving/setting a reminder:

Include instructions
& necessary info with the reminder (i.e. if you need to make a phone call, include the # & what to say)

When being reminded:

Take *some* action when the reminder happens.

When you get a reminder, do the thing if you can; if you can’t, re-set the reminder for later, do a baby step toward the project, or break it down into steps so next time it’s doable. Taking some small action can break the avoidance cycle.

Let me know what strategies you’ve found to help make reminders work for you or someone you love (or what *doesn’t* help)

On top of that, past failures and shame often create a “wall of awful” so that even “easy” tasks are daunting. (more on the wall of awful here: ) It’s not just the task we’re tackling, it’s the *emotion* that task brings up.