tw// self harm, mental abuse, manipulation,

Here’s the thing— I empathize with those who self harm. I understand it’s a coping method and it’s a symptom of mental illness. But I’ve also come across people who will use it to manipulate others when they don’t get their way.

Sometimes people do it without realizing. They’re so conditioned to resort to self harm as soon as life disrupts their way or something inconveniences them enough to cause them to spiral into depression. I understand. But please realize that this isn’t just affecting you.

For so long I stuck by someone, draining myself to try and save them from themselves. I couldn’t live my life the way I wanted because I felt compelled to give them everything they wanted so I wouldn’t lose them, so they wouldn’t hurt themselves.

It wasn’t until it started interfering with my relationship that I realized enough is enough. Threatening s*icide or self harm because someone can’t always be with you giving you what you want— that is manipulation. I understand it hurts, but find the strength to fight against it

Your friends/family want to help you. They don’t want to lose you or have you hurt yourself. But constantly threatening to hurt yourself or worse when they can’t always be right there to help you is wrong. It is not their job, they’re doing it out of kindness.

Don’t take advantage of someone’s kindness, seek professional help instead. Someone that truly knows how to help you and can be there for you whenever you need them. Friends and family can only do so much before it becomes draining. I speak from experience.

I put everything into this person for nearly a decade, and I came out of it deeply scarred. I developed several of my own mental barriers that I am currently seeing a therapist for. Had I not invested so much into this person— I might’ve been better off. But it is what it is.

Point of this thread is— you can’t help someone that doesn’t even try to help themselves. And if you’re a person who needs help, careful not to take advantage or manipulate others who show you compassion, concern or kindness. They want to help, so don’t make it anymore difficult.

This person is doing much better now. I was able to separate myself from them long enough for them to realize they don’t have to be so reliant on others to be ok. Sometimes that’s all it takes. It’s ok to be there when you can, if you can’t you shouldn’t feel guilty or anxious.