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All right, friends, let's bring it in for story time.
Once upon a 1997, there was a wedding announcement in the NYT. The bride was a successful lawyer. The groom, also a lawyer, was a big macher at Xerox. It was a match made in WASP Heaven. https://www.nytimes.com/1997/05/04/style/mary-m-scharf-j-michael-farren.html
Once upon a 1997, there was a wedding announcement in the NYT. The bride was a successful lawyer. The groom, also a lawyer, was a big macher at Xerox. It was a match made in WASP Heaven. https://www.nytimes.com/1997/05/04/style/mary-m-scharf-j-michael-farren.html
Surely, this type of couple would live in The Right Neighborhood, send children to The Right Schools, and live tastefully ever after. These people were well bred, well read, and well wed, no?
Shortly after this blessed union, the husband becomes Deputy White House Counsel. The wife is at Skadden, one of the most prestigious law firms in the world. They have two beautiful children. These people live a charmed life, by any metric.
What no one knew was that the husband was an absolute monster behind closed doors. https://abcnews.go.com/US/deputy-white-house-counsels-wife-recalls-flashlight-attack/story?id=28579355
Mary Margaret was the perfect wife and mom, but her husband beat her anyway.
Jan. 6, 2010, two days after she served him with divorce papers, he "picked up his wife by the throat, threw her across the room and struck her head and face as many as 10 times with a heavy metal flashlight," according to testimony during his trial in early July.
He strangled her more than once, causing her to lose consciousness. She lost a significant amount of blood, suffered a broken jaw & cheekbone. The cuts on her head left her skull visible, and tufts of hair had been wrenched off her scalp, a doctor said on the stand.
Her smile is now crooked from the nerve damage to her right cheek from the attack. https://phillipian.net/2020/02/28/mary-margaret-scharf-p21-shares-personal-experience-to-warn-against-domestic-abuse/
During their 15-year marriage, she said she had had to "walk on eggshells" to keep him from flying into a rage, and that he took pleasure in ruining people.
He was sent to prison for 15 years for the attempted murder, and the wife won a substantial civil judgment as well. https://apnews.com/d5db11745a0d43a1b10e18f78a57deec/Judge:-Ex-Bush-lawyer-can't-delay-giving-ex-wife-$29M-award
That judgment was affirmed on appeal in 2015. https://lawprofessors.typepad.com/legal_profession/2015/12/the-connecticut-appellate-court-has-a-verdict-against-former-white-house-counsel-j-michael-farren-for-the-abc-news-reported.html
Mary Margaret and her daughter are now active with domestic violence charity work. https://georgetowner.com/articles/2019/12/04/knock-out-abuse-stand-up-speak-out/
Domestic violence does not discriminate- it happens to wealthy people, well educated people, people with powerful families and friends. It's not a symptom of a woman's weakness or poverty.
There's a difference between being "passionate" and being abusive. If he throws things at you, he will hit you. If he punches walls, he will hit you. Don't marry a man with a bad temper. And don't think for a second that you can run interference to keep him from hitting the kids.
If you're in a relationship where you're constantly walking on eggshells, get help and get out. Here's a start: https://www.thehotline.org/help/
Life's too short. There's too much world out there- you should get out and see it.
Life's too short. There's too much world out there- you should get out and see it.
