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My assault didn't happen in comedy. It happened working in a kitchen.
We have to have these conversations because we are in a business built on using our voices and telling our stories. Most aren’t. Most people who go through this don’t have a huge community speaking for them.
We have to have these conversations because we are in a business built on using our voices and telling our stories. Most aren’t. Most people who go through this don’t have a huge community speaking for them.
I worked with the man who raped me for months after. He gaslit me. He told people I was crazy. He mocked me. I’d put myself in the situation so I blamed myself for it even though when the moment came I couldn't stop it. When I finally told coworkers I couldn’t even tell them that
It broke me. I left that career because of it. I spiraled into depression. I barely made it through. I’ve wrecked relationships and still feel guilt and shame. I never want anyone to be afraid to say anything. I never want anyone to think what happened to them was their fault.
It isn’t cancel culture. It’s people speaking up for everyone who doesn’t have a voice and telling them that it is okay to come forward. That they will be heard. That things will change.
In comedy I've been lucky to only have experienced smaller hurdles and abuses. They are all terrible and they all still sit with me, but they are things every woman goes through.
I stuck with it because even more of my peers have made me feel safe, respected for my decisions, unique, funny, strong, protected, loved, important for my perspective and voice, cherished for my whole self, talented, uplifted, and capable of thriving.
Calling out and trying to change an atmosphere that protects predatory behavior while encouraging a community of supportive peers shouldn't be a controversy. And every time something like this happens, everything anyone has gone through resurfaces.
No one likes working through trauma or having these conversations. No one likes ‘canceling’ someone. They just don't want anyone else to go through what they did.
Anyway. I'm just six years in and I've seen this conversation so many times and it's disheartening and I'd love to not say anything and get back to my "day of staying off my phone" but I can't get this out of my head. And I worked for years to get this out of my head.
Thanks to everyone saying anything, to anyone supporting those people, to anyone who wants to say something but just can't. I'm sorry you are going through this conversation again. But please keep having it, I guess, until it's not a controversy to want people to feel safe.
