one day.... i wanna talk about comp het in the context of *whiteness* being upheld as the standard to which i should both aspire to emulate as closely as possible and embrace in all aspects of my life, and how that impacts Black lesbians specifically

because in all these conversations on comp het (on twitter only, mind) i’ve genuinely never, EVER seen anyone explicitly discuss the way lesbians of colour, esp Black lesbians, are impacted by this assertion that it’s not just men we should desire, but white cishet men

we’re punished and vilified for desiring white men because how dare we want what we can never be but should always aspire to become — and we’re told to want it. always want it. chase it. debase yourself for it. your womanhood, your humanity, depends on your proximity to it

and to take it beyond comphet, ig, that specific push to desire and embrace whiteness romantically, sexually; to emulate and celebrate and protect it, doesn’t stop when you‘re start pushing back against comp het. it’s still there. just in a different way, in different spaces

White Cishet Men is what i think of when i think of comp het, because in all my years of all life all i’ve ever seen the world do is debase Black men, trans men, trans men of colour + present them as the lesser alt. to the pinnacle of success: love, from a cishet white male

so... yeah. thoughts on comp het from me, a Black non binary lesbian who’s.actually now i think about it absolutely fucking tired of seeing white lesbians dominate every single discussion on being a lesbian

oh, and i don’t want this to be taken as me not seeing the nuance + massive differences between say, the way a cishet vs trans Black man is treated + perceived societally; or defending men, generally!! i’m just touching on the ways Black + non-Black men of colour are dehumanised https://twitter.com/bitterbleue/status/1275203502764064779

AND how that dehumanistion intersects with comphet, AND how all of that weighs heavily upon and traumatises Black lesbians who have to balance defending, fighting for and protecting their communities and people, incl men with being abused, degraded and dehuamnised by them