Read on Twitter
Four years ago to the day I moved to East Lansing to start my PhD. Today I will board a plane to move back to Arizona and finish my PhD remotely being sponsored as an affiliate at ASU. I want to share why:
When I moved to East Lansing I was super hopeful of meeting awesome friends and building relationships with my colleagues that could contribute to a support network that helped me through my PhD.
To some extent, I have done that and I am very thankful for my frens in this town, nearby, and through other programs I have participated in while in graduate school.
The truth of the matter is, living in EL is hard (for me). Finding people ‘that look like me’ or are near me in age or experiences was and has been challenging. This feeling is exacerbated by the experience of being in grad school and has taken a toll on my mental health.
There is nothing WRONG with East Lansing, really, but a sense of community outside of school/work is something that took me a while to realize that I needed for me to be successful and dare I say ‘thrive’ during my PhD.
It has been damn expensive visiting my family twice a year and each time I visit it’s really not enough when I’m already lacking in some areas of the support network I identified to have need for in my life. This is not unique to me/astro/this city but is definitely a factor.
I am NOT moving because of my advisor. If I’m being honest, my advisor is one of the main reasons I am still in grad school. His support at each turn of my PhD has made and continues to make me feel valued, including my decision to move closer to home. I’m fortunate.
One last thing I will say, something that was told to me and I didn’t realize until a year or so ago, is that there are a lot of departments like mine. They make mistakes, they can be complicit in institutionalized racism or marginalization to name a few.
BUT I am thankful for the faculty that have stood up for me, others, and those that will come after me to *risk* their job to stand up for something they know is not right or that needs fundamental change. I’m hopeful that I can look back and see myself as part of the change.
As a result of the hard work of many (most of the time) in my department I have seen the GRE thrown out, I have seen committees formed, I have seen hiring / application procedures overhauled and many other things that I’m probably not mentioning or even know about.
But that being said, I think my work is done (for now). I have had those uncomfortable conversations, I’ve had those weird emails, I’ve pointed out fundamentally flawed practices that affect STUDENTS LIKE ME.
I’m thankful for those that listened when I spoke, who cared when I needed them to, and who closed their mouths to allow space for me and others like me.
I wanted to share my experiences on this to hopefully empower others. It was hard for me to recognize that I wasn’t in an environment where I could flourish and that even still that that wasn’t all the fault of being in graduate school/my department.
I am privileged to be able to still continue my research while closer to home, many others or not. I implore you to think about the ways that your departments are making simply EXISTING challenging for some.
For some, it may be an issue outside of the departments, a lot of students may not feel empowered or comfortable to share their challenges. How can you make your students or colleagues that may face these challenges feel more welcome?
I’ll end with the actual last thing now and say that I’m once again so very thankful for those I’ve connected with here, my advisor, my THERAPIST, my committee, and the faculty that have supported me at MSU.
I’m looking forward to spending the next year (or so) as a visiting graduate student at @SESEASU continuing my research closer to home and applying (ahh) to postdoctoral positions.
I hope this thread can be the push to hopefully help some realize what they need for themselves and to secure that.
I also want to shout out @msuagep for being a big part of the community I was able to foster while living here in East Lansing.
Thank you everyone for the very kind words of support on this thread. It sounds like there are a lot of people that can relate to these experiences and that is very validating to hear.
