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Looool.
Lemme tell y'all a short story about how I struck a convo with this one lady in a KBS last year!
https://twitter.com/RoyWahome/status/1275005609839144960
Lemme tell y'all a short story about how I struck a convo with this one lady in a KBS last year!
https://twitter.com/RoyWahome/status/1275005609839144960
So it was morning and I was heading to KNH, right?
So I sat hapo nyuma ya dere next to this one pretty lady. I don't remember what was going through my mind but I was headphones in and minding my own; hadn't even thought about talking to her.
So I sat hapo nyuma ya dere next to this one pretty lady. I don't remember what was going through my mind but I was headphones in and minding my own; hadn't even thought about talking to her.
So then a bunch of white ppl come into the bus and start preaching & handing out DVD's about sijui nini.
It had been a while tangu kijana askize injili ya majuu, so nikaamua lemme listen.
It had been a while tangu kijana askize injili ya majuu, so nikaamua lemme listen.
So they preeeeeeeeached about love & peace (btw ilikuwa sharing fiti sana), but kulikuwa na traffic mob so bado tuko hapo roundabout ya GPO.
So then this one lady with a Spanish accent leans over to me & gives me a CD
.
So then this one lady with a Spanish accent leans over to me & gives me a CD
.
I didn't want the CD cause I knew I wouldn't watch it, but I also didn't wanna be rude cause she was so happy & smiling & all.
Two great evils exist in the world: racism, & messing with someone's good vibes.
Two great evils exist in the world: racism, & messing with someone's good vibes.
So vile nimechukua I remembered the lady next to me and figured lemme give her the CD.
So I look at her, smile & go like "hey sasa, just thought I should share with you about the Gospel" as I hand her the CD.
So I look at her, smile & go like "hey sasa, just thought I should share with you about the Gospel" as I hand her the CD
.
So here's what happened next, yeah?
I guess she figured that I was joking cause she laughed at my joke, continued smiling & was like "ah-ah, hiyo ni yako."
I guess she figured that I was joking cause she laughed at my joke, continued smiling & was like "ah-ah, hiyo ni yako."
So at that point, ladies & gentlemen, is when I decided to show her just how INSANELY CRAZY I can be!
So at this point, the Spanish lady is at the back of the bus akipeana her mixtape to willing parties, right? 
So I straight-up raise my hand, & say loudly "excuse me, praise God! I need another CD, please!"
So I straight-up raise my hand, & say loudly "excuse me, praise God! I need another CD, please!"
This is all happening so impulsively so I want burst out laughing, but I'm trying SO HARD not to!!
At this point I'm waving my hands & nishaingia zone. Y'know? That zone where you feel no shame & you're going with the flow!
It's what makes you do stuff like this
At this point I'm waving my hands & nishaingia zone. Y'know? That zone where you feel no shame & you're going with the flow!
It's what makes you do stuff like this
So then the lady comes back to the front faster-faster & she's in her kawaida good-vibes-smiling-so-much-because-Jesus-is-good vibes.
At this point, some of the passengers next to us are so looking at us tryna see what's going on.
At this point, some of the passengers next to us are so looking at us tryna see what's going on.
I turned my CLOWN mode all the way up!!
"hello, yes! this lady next to me was just telling me how she's enjoyed the sharing so much, so much!"
I swear on the inside I was DYING!!!
"hello, yes! this lady next to me was just telling me how she's enjoyed the sharing so much, so much!"
I swear on the inside I was DYING!!!
So I look at the lady in question & she's in ABSOLUTE SHOCK at what tf is happening; but there's nothing she could do cause once again, Grandma's good vibes were too powerful to say no to!
So I continue, "yeah, she has really enjoyed the sharing & she wants the CD but I cannot give her mine because I want to go to watch it tonight, yes tonight! I must watch it"
Lemme tell you what happened next was the funniest thing EVEEEEEEEER!!!!
So as I was talking, Grandma was nodding her head with approval THE WHOLE TIME , and as soon as I got to the end, she was so happy she quick-quick got into her bag & toa'd a CD for this ghel but she stretched it to give me cause I was closer.
, and as soon as I got to the end, she was so happy she quick-quick got into her bag & toa'd a CD for this ghel but she stretched it to give me cause I was closer.
Now I knew that ningeichukua I'd have had to go home with both CD's & ain't no way I was gonna take that L!
Nope!
Not AFTER ALL THIS HARD WORK!!
Nope!
Not AFTER ALL THIS HARD WORK!!
So I turn to look at Cinderella on my left & I'm waving at her with my hand like "come on, take it, take it."
I'm half-laughing at this point cause I couldn't keep it in any longer , so I don't remember HOW she took it but eventually she did.
I'm half-laughing at this point cause I couldn't keep it in any longer
, so I don't remember HOW she took it but eventually she did.
So at this point I thought the clownery was over, but little did I know that the STARS WERE ALIGNED FOR UTMOST EXPERIENCE!!!!
The gods of comedy were finna have a FIELD DAY and I was their chosen one!!!
So turns out that while I wS BS'ing talmbout how this lady has enjoyed, a Kenyan guy from this team of missioners was behind us hapo at the door listening in, right?
So as soon as Grandma had given Cinderella the CD, this homie came to us & continued preaching!
So as soon as Grandma had given Cinderella the CD, this homie came to us & continued preaching!
In his head probably alikuwa zile za "I've found someone who is interested, so wacha sasa I share with them the Gospel all over again but in a more personal level with Kiswahili & all!"
Yaani!!!
Yaani!!!
Let me tell you, Maina!
This homie kuja'd, leaned against the barrier between the driver & the rest of the bus, and you would NEVER have esperrerit but he shared with Cinderella & I the WHOLE MESSAGE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!
This homie kuja'd, leaned against the barrier between the driver & the rest of the bus, and you would NEVER have esperrerit but he shared with Cinderella & I the WHOLE MESSAGE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!
Mpaka homie starts telling us how we can go to their church sijui wapi if we want to hear more!
Yaani, lemme tell you!
I had one of the BEST MORNINGS of my life that day!!
I had one of the BEST MORNINGS of my life that day!!
By the time Grandma & The 12 Apostles had left the bus, some passengers next to me had kinda connected the dots so hata wao walikuwa wanaisha.
Hata I didn't talk to Cinderella again! Nilicheka the whole way to the hospital, bro!
Hata I didn't talk to Cinderella again! Nilicheka the whole way to the hospital, bro!
Ah! One of my best experiences hands-down!!
If this thread gets to that lady, I just want her to know once again that it wasn't personal; ni josks tu. 
I hope she enjoyed the humour later on.
If this thread gets to that lady, I just want her to know once again that it wasn't personal
; ni josks tu. I hope she enjoyed the humour later on.
