People ask me how I am and I say I’m good. The truth is every single day I find new ways to try to either end my life or numb my existential suffering. I might smile, but I can assure you every single night I’ve cried into my pillow for a reason I don’t care to explain.
We all go through something. Just because someone says they’re okay it doesn’t mean they are. Take the time to understand your friends properly. Take the time to care. Everyone needs someone no matter how joyful they seem.
And the worst part is that I don’t even open up to people. Because I know the pain of wanting someone to be let in, but refusing to have that taken away from you. To give a part of you just for them to walk away.
Instead I’ll try so hard to be there for every other human even though it’s literally killing me. It’s the most exhausting thing trying to be there for people who literally act like you’re just smoke to them.