My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay.

Our UPS guy has won 389 FitBit challenges just from walking back and forth to our front door.

I big part of my strength training routine is breaking down my wife's daily delivery of Amazon boxes for the recycle bin

Wife [texting]: FYI I'm expecting another Amazon delivery today.

[two hours later]

Me:

[knock on door]
Me: Hey.
UPS guy: Hey.
Me:
UPS guy:
Me: Do you have a package for me or
UPS guy: Oh. No, I don't. I just thought I was supposed to come by here at least once a day.

I feel like I've hit a nerve with this one

AH I SEE WE ARE BACK TO OUR REGULAR SCHEDULE.

[parade of beeping and honking Amazon Prime trucks drive by my house in an appreciation parade]