Yesterday a male comedian in Toronto posted a FB status saying he personally knew five people (!!!) in the Toronto comedy scene who had committed sexual assault. He vaguely stated that something needed to change.

When I commented on the post to ask what specific actions men in the community were going to take in order to address the issue, he messaged me (never do this) to explain the answer was basically nothing, but he felt like acknowledging it was an important step.

I disagreed with him about the value of "awareness" or whatever, while resenting the fact that he'd taken a public conversation into my inbox and had put me in a position of having to either absolve him or attempt to educate him.

So in an attempt to move things back onto his FB wall, I commented on the post and asked the follow-up question: "What are you willing to risk or sacrifice in order to make things better?"

He deleted the post instead of answering. I'm so fucking exhausted by "good dudes."