Monday morning's reason for apologising during a work call: this duck walked into my kitchen. I do not own a duck.

The duck came in about ten times yesterday. I think it was because my bird seed had run out - and the duck likes to steal this - so the duck was basically asking for the manager. What sort of duck walks into a house though??! Very unsettling...

I’m embarrassed to admit that I also have this rat, who keeps coming to wash his hands in this bowl of water. I tried to put a peanut-laden trap down, & a badger ran off with the whole rat-trap last night. The animals are running some kind of racket. My cats are fired btw.

My (stupid) cat has brought me duckling in the past. For some reason she licks them (?). This is a duckling covered in cat-lick. (They are easy to return: I have just walked to the bottom of the garden where there is a cross mummy-duck loudly making a safeguarding complaint.)

The local squirrels are actually more intimidating than cute, especially if you look like you might have a snack

Awww, thank you everyone for being so nice and jolly on my duckie thread: it has been very cheering! P.S. Of course I won’t do anything bad to the rat: once he’s fixed the fairy light wiring, I am training him as a chef.