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I’d like to talk about something today in case it’s helpful to anyone. I’m reading a lot of stories that involve a sentence like ‘I just stood there/I didn’t know what to do/I didn’t say anything’ and I’d like to talk about why that happens. 1/
When you go through a terrible experience, afterwards you will ask, and other people will ask and maybe even legal professionals will ask, why didn’t I scream, why didn’t I shout, why didn’t I kick him in the balls and run away 2/
And the answer is in two parts. The first bit is cultural - we don’t listen to our gut because we’re obsessed with being polite. We make all kind of irrational mental jumps about why we mustn’t make a scene. But I think that’s only about 10% of it. 3/
The other 90% is entirely biological. It’s something called Tonic Immobility. In situations of extreme fear, and especially during sexual assault, the human body goes into total shut down. We think there’s just two Fs - Fight or Flight, but there’s a third, Freeze. 4/
And that’s what happens. Your body freezes to keep you safe. It can be set off by anything as small as a hand on the shoulder that stays there too long, because the intent is clear. And your body thinks (your body which I’m guessing is physically smaller, physically weaker - 5/
- or the power balance is in some way in the wrong direction, they’re older, more famous, more powerful) - you’re body thinks I know what’s coming and if I fight, the next thing that happens is I die, so let’s freeze, endure, survive, get through this alive. 6/
Your body is the product of millions of years of evolution, really perfecting the art of staying alive, and it’s just doing its job. Nothing, nothing, nothing that happened to you and anything you did or didn’t do is your fault. Listen to your gut. Fuck Politeness. 
