mitch mcconnell looks like an aged bologna casing filled with that puree goop chicken nuggets are made out of that's somehow both over and undercooked like how tf is that dude something with a pulse and thoughts, he looks like something the FDA should've banned 50 years ago

this dude looks like something shoenice would buy off ebay to eat because it expired in a fallout bunker with a "known to the State of California to cause cancer" label

my dude @senatemajldr looks like the maligned spirits of a million holiday turkeys possessing and reanimating the decomposing body of a goblin trapped in a knockoff party city TMNT costume that was dumped in a river wrapped in stretched out panty hose

I should sleep but my guy mitch has a smile that looks like his teeth are trying to hate crime your soul out of your body so he can feast on it

I really should be getting to bed but I can't help but notice mitch looks like raw dough poured over a zentai suit full of maggots

pretty sure mitch mcconnell is what happens to your body if you drink the sarcophagus bone juice

honestly I just need to stop writing funny dunks to take a moment to reflect on how Fucked Up Evil this freak looks like goddamn

really I'm tired as hell and I should've passed out hours ago but my dude mitch's eyes look like they sparkle with the intent of a man that harvests the blood of asylum seeking children to maintain his corporeal form

seriously what the fuck is this lmao

mitch mcconnell looks like a Dead Space enemy that gave up halfway through reconstruction

if you think about it american exceptionalism actually kinda makes sense like where else can tissue culture blended with pudding mix take people's rights away, who else is that avant garde

I've said too much but if I can just get an intrusive thought out real quick, mitch mcconnell looks like if dental plaque could be racist

good morning to everyone except mitch mcconnells water pruned thumb lookin ass

my guy mitch looks like the crypt keeper tried to pop a zit and didn't finish the job

really though, it's a shame mitch doesn't fuck with M4A because he looks like if a racial slur could get infected

y'all keep saying our guy mitch here looks like the pale man and I have as much respect for guillermo del toro's work as anyone else but even he couldn't imagine something this cursed

my dude mitch looks like he does shots of embalming fluid at the klan rally afterparties

I should be nicer but mitch mcconnell looks like he pays his knights to beat serfs so he can cut in line for the Vicary method

congrats to mitch getting off the grid by heating his home with oil lamps and making kids in cages fight

really though it's nice mitch added that second wine cellar to his home to stock up on bottles of aunt jemima before the brand change goes into effect

mitch mcconnell looks like he started shopping for skulls on etsy after seeing django unchained

mitch mcconnell looks like if a cadaver came back to life because it changed it's mind about being donated to science

really though, Bodies: The Exhibition needs to keep better track of their assets

I should thank Mitch though, he just reminded me I have to get my oil changed. I hope for his sake his grandparents don't end up in my car.

I have to head out but I gotta say I'm glad our guy mitch's budget proposal to have heat lamps and heat rocks added to the senate chamber was approved.

dude looks like he has at least 4 plantation houses on speed dial and just said "I do declare, I may be late for the cotillion".

I know it's a lot to expect people Mitch's age to be tech savvy but I would not leave "child sized manacles" in my search history.

my dude mitch looks like he yells at the help for washing his sheets and hoods in the same load

I really need to run some errands but I just wanted to wish mitch the best of luck with the mercury tinctures for his jawline.

my dude looks like he makes the kids in his basement watch him drone strike the island of misfit toys for christmas

really I should be heading out but I hope mitch get some good news about Anna from Mademoiselle at the secret society meeting tonight

I should stop but my guy mitch looks like foghorn leghorn tenderized his face with a 2x4