Seeing so many of us speaking up about the abuse they endured in our industry is incredibly empowering but also heartbreaking. Here are some things you can do to be an ally:
1) Believe them! Speaking up about abuse is insanely scary, as some of us have been gaslight to believe it's "not so bad" or we "deserve/provoked it". Additionally, abusers don't treat everyone badly. Just because they are nice to you, doesn't mean they are to everyone.
To illustrate this further, @vulgadrawings has published an amazing comic about it on Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAtDCT9hawK/?igshid=x4uzq7azguic
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAtDCT9hawK/?igshid=x4uzq7azguic
2) Support! Ask your friends if they need any kind of help. Additionally, stop being friends and stop supporting the abuser. They have treated people like shit in the past and they will most likely do so again.
Especially at events it's not unlikely for people to bump into their abuser. When you notice any uncomfortable behavior by your friends or know the abuser is close by, ask if your friends want to leave/go somewhere else. Don't ever leave them alone!
Additional advice for after partys: Don't let your friends leave before the abuser or escort them home!
Overall there's many different kinds of abuse and even more ways to support and help. Educate yourself by listening, reading up on things and understand. And: there's a lot of people out there afraid to speak up about it. Don't forget about them.