yoonkook | hanahaki au

yoongi realizes that jungkook doesn’t love him back when he begins to cough up white flower petals.

@kookgi_party #kookgiparty_D3 #kookgi #yoonkook

tw //
- mentions of blood
- angst
- sad ending
- side ships
- thread fic (some text messages)
- amnesia

yoongi’s chest heaved up and down. he took a deep breath to subdue the pain, but he could still feel the air slowly being ripped out of his lungs. he violently rubbed at his teary eyes to get rid of any traces of him crying. +

he was tired of feeling like this, but he knew his heart would never let him stop. as long as he loved jungkook, the pain was never going to disappear. he picked up one of the petals that covered his bed. he stared at it long and hard before crumbling it in his hand. +

he dropped his arm down. his eyes slowly began to close as the drowsiness lulled him to sleep.

yoongi’s eyes snapped open when he heard the blaring sound of his phone. he quickly sat up and tried to search for his phone in the dark. +

he roamed in hands over the bed to feel for the device. his hand would occasionally get caught on the lumps of flowers he coughed up. his fingers eventually brushed across the cold surface of his phone. +

he picked up his phone and quickly flipped it to the screen, but he instantly regretted it. he winced at the bright light resonating from the screen. he slid his finger from the top to the bottom of the screen and adjusted the brightness. +

by that point, the obnoxiously loud ringtone had already ended. yoongi stared at the several miss calls and messages littering his home screen. he cursed under his breath when it dawned on to him that he had plans. +

yoongi hastily got off the bed and ran around the room to get ready. when attempting to throw on a sweater, he had called back hoseok. after the first ring, the younger male picked up. “yoon, where the hell are you?” +

“yeah i- crap.” yoongi tumbled a little while trying to get a clean pair of pants on, but managed to keep his balance. “yeah, i’m on my way right now. i’ll be there in ten. eat without me.” +

there was a sudden burst of chatter coming from hoseok’s side of the call. yoongi couldn’t hear everything clearly, but caught on a few words. he could only assume that those were his friends asking for his whereabouts. +

the noise slowly died down then the sound of a door opening and closing. “i’m alone. are you okay? you don’t sound so well.” +

yoongi removed his phone as far as he could from himself before letting a cough. he coughed a few more times to clear his throat just to be sure. he brought the phone back to his ear. “yeah, of course.“ +

“if you’re sick, you can stay home. i can make up some lie to tell the others.”

“no, it’s okay. i’m still a little groggy from just waking up, so don’t worry. jungkook said he had an announcement anyways. i should be there.”

“are you–” +

“positive,” yoongi cut him off. “i’ll be there soon.” yoongi ended the call and pocketed his phone. he spun back to look at the mess he created. there wasn’t just flower petals on his bed. they nearly covered his entire bedroom floor. +

originally, he had made an effort to get rid of any trace of his sickness, but it had got especially bad this week.

it had started around three months ago, but those were just like spurts here and there. only a couple of petals. however, they gradually got worse and worse. +

one month later, those spurts eventually became handfuls. then another month later, it became buckets full. yesterday he threw up a whole flower. yoongi knew if this disease continued to progress that rapidly, he might be found lying dead in his own petals. +

it was a gamble, but he wasn’t ready to let go of his love. +

true to his words, yoongi arrived at the restaurant ten minutes later. as soon as he entered the private room, all his friends greeted him with bright smiles. of course seokjin made it his job to scold the younger for being late to their hang out. +

yoongi let out a quiet apology. yoongi glanced at jungkook, who smiled back at him in return. yoongi’s cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink. his heart swell and the suffocating feeling in his chest disappeared. +

however, it was only momentarily because in a flash, jungkook’s attention was on someone else.

yoongi shuffled over to the empty seat hoseok saved for him. he sat down and kept his head down. he didn’t want to dare look back up and see his best friend close to another person. +

they were all friends here, but yoongi couldn’t help but feel a little bitter.

yoongi nearly jumped out of his seat when he felt a hand on his shoulder. yoongi darted his eyes at hoseok, who appeared concerned. +

he leaned into yoongi’s space and whispered, “are you sure you’re okay? if you want me to take you home, i can.”

yoongi shook his head. “i’m okay. promise.” yoongi tried to smile like he normally would’ve of two months ago, but he wasn’t so sure it was convincing. +

luckily hoseok seemed to buy it and stopped pestering.

it was about an hour into eating that the question was finally popped. “what did you want to tell us, kookie?” taehyung asked. +

jungkook pauses all his movements for a moment. he glanced at the person next to him. they didn’t talk to each other verbally, but with their eyes. jungkook was using his eyes to ask if it was okay. the other male nodded immediately. +

tw // mentions of death

i’m sorry, i forgot to add this

jungkook sighed in relief. he hand disappeared under the table. his hand reappeared in the air again, but this time intertwined with another pair. “namjoon and i are dating.“ +

yoongi wasn’t dumb. he knew the moment he coughed up the first few petals that his best friend, his one and only love, his jungkook had developed feeling for another person. at first, he couldn’t pinpoint who it was, but it slowly became obvious. +

from the looks of the other boys, they had no idea. cheers and congratulations filled the tiny room they were in. jimin and taehyung, who had been sitting with the new couple, dived in for a hug. hoseok and seokjin stayed in their seats across the table, but were just as happy. +

yoongi stayed silent the entire time, but it went unnoticed. everyone was clouded by joy to see that one of their friends was in misery. yoongi took a bottle of soju and chugged the remaining bits of it. +

the liquid burned down his throat, but they relieved the agonizing pain in his chest. yoongi glared at the empty green bottle. he thinks that he might’ve found his solution to his sorrow. +

—— ♡ ——

after the big announcement, yoongi made it an unhealthy habit to drink his sadness away. he knew it was a horrible way to cope his this kind of pain, but he didn’t know what to do. he definitely wasn’t about to go through with the surgery. +

it was either subdue the growing suffocation, or like it kill him. he didn’t want the surgery, but he wasn’t ready to leave yet either. +

for the next three weeks, he would spend his nights drinking. at the rate he’s been drinking, it’s very likely he’ll have enough bottles to fill with all his coughed up petals. sometimes when the soju bottles weren’t enough, he’d let himself go to a bar. similar to today. +

he doesn’t know how long he’s been at the bar, but what he does know, he’s completely wasted. everything in his system has gone numb. he can barely kept his eyes open for very long. when he tried to leave the bar, he had a massive headache and nearly collapsed. +

luckily, the bartender wasn’t a jerk and cared about his customers. he helped yoongi back up on to the stool and let his rest on the table while he went through yoongi’s contacts for someone to call. +

it was about twenty minutes later when hoseok came running into the bar. all signs of panic immediately left his body when he saw yoongi sleeping safe and sound on the bar counter. hoseok jogged over to the table. “he’s been here since the afternoon,” the bartender revealed. +

hoseok gasped. “what?”

“yeah. he’s been coming in multiple times a week. he definitely has something bothering him if he’s coming in that often. you should talk to him before this becomes a problem.” +

“thanks for telling me.” hoseok grabbed yoongi’s phone off the counter and shoved it in his pocket. he swiftly picked up his friend bridal style. the concern was back on his face when he realized how much lighter yoongi has gotten. “what’s going on with you, yoon?” +

when they arrived to yoongi’s place, hoseok winced at the heavy aroma of soju in the air. he quickly moved to set yoongi down on the couch. once settling the smaller down, he darted to the light switch. +

as soon as the lights came on, hoseok was shocked to see the horrendous amounts of green bottles all over the place. he tried to clean up whatever he could, but there was too much to deal with. he returned back to yoongi who was getting whiny because he was covered in sweat. +

“stay here. i’ll grab some clothes from your room.” hoseok went to yoongi’s room when he heard a hum from the older. +

yoongi was too drunk out of his mind to even process what was going on. he was feeling super hot and sticky, so when he heard hoseok suggestion about new clothes, he didn’t hesitate to agree. it wasn’t until a couple of moments later that he shot up in realization. +

his drunk state was completely gone and repacked with sheer panic. he stumbled onto his feet. he ran toward his room shouting for hoseok not to open the door, but it was too late. +

yoongi’s bedroom door was wide open and hoseok was dead center in the room. there was no way he couldn’t see the flower covered room. yoongi stopped at the door frame with tears already forming. nobody was suppose to find out. nobody was suppose to know about his suffering. +

it was suppose to be a secret. he didn’t want to share his pain with any of his friends even if it was killing him.

hoseok slowly turned around to face yoongi. his tears were streaking down his cheeks. “when,” his voice was shaky,” when were you going to tell me?” +

“never.” yoongi spoke so quietly. his soft voice almost went unheard of it wasn’t for the dead silence that surrounded them. “i didn’t want you or any one else to feel sad-”

hoseok marched over to yoongi and pulled him into a hug. in that moment, yoongi broke down. +

all those days trying to hold on, trying not to cry had come crumbling down. his walls were on the verge of collapsing into dust. he desperately clung onto hoseok’s shirt like he was going to disappear. now that he had someone to lean on, he selfishly didn’t want to let go. +

he sobbed into hoseok’s shoulder. “it hurts. i wanted him to love me, but he doesn’t. he’ll never love me.” yoongi cried, “why can’t he love me?” +

to be deleted

i need to go to be because i have super early classes. i also have an essay to do, so finishing this up might be delayed. but i will definitely have it done. please do not comment under this thread! retweet w/ a comment or use cc. https://curiouscat.qa/yoonbabyy