Increasingly I've started to approach every male friendship I have with a certain wariness. I've learnt not to trust my male friends unless they prove they're worthy of that trust. I treat their allyship with suspicion and caution. And that is what I'll teach my daughter(s) /1

@ekownyankah wrote an amazing piece on NYT about whether his black children can truly be friends with white people. He says he will teach his children to be cautious, he will teach them suspicion, and he will teach them distrust against white friendship. /2

And I find that sentiment so poignant. In no way am I saying that the black experience in america and the female experience are the same or even comparable. But I felt the article was surprisingly fitting for how male friendship, specially in Pakistan, should be seen /3

The reason Ekow says that is because meaningful friendship is not just a feeling. It is not simply being able to share a beer. Real friendship is impossible without the ability to trust others, without knowing that your well-being is important to them. And history has provided /4

little reason to trust white people. And it's the same for men. Why should we as women trust our male friendships if they're absent when it truly matters? Why should we trust people who passively allow the status-quo to be maintained. If they're truly our friends, how can- /5

they sit back and watch as we are harrased and abused? Of course there are male allies who truly try to help, but as long as the majority remains passive, every friendship/relationship should be taken with a grain of salt. And the worst one's are the apologetics, the one who /6

claim that they're absolved because they dont take part in that behavior. They're just standing there not doing anything. Tell me, if a fire is burning a house dont you have a moral duty to help put the fire out? If you stand there while the house burns, and then say how sorry /7

are that the fire happened two weeks later what does that make you? You're there, you're seeing it happen, help us put out the fucking fire. Unless that happens, no male is an ally, no guy friend can truly be trusted.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2017/11/11/opinion/sunday/interracial-friendship-donald-trump.amp.html link to article please read!!!