Story: I once told a female manager at a comedy club that the booker’s online sexist “jokes” about women made a lot of female comics uncomfortable. I did that thing where I cushioned my complaint with an array of high pitched “I know he’s a nice guy” lines so I wouldn’t seem

difficult as women are often called for simply stating facts. Also because I’m an empathetic fool that gives people the benefit of the doubt when they don’t always deserve it. She commiserated & I was proud that after years of witnessing toxic behavior in my workplaces.

I finally spoke up in a professional manner. Anyhoo cut to a month later, the club unfollows me on all social media & stops booking me. I confronted the female manager & she claimed the booker heard thru the grapevine that I was “defaming his character.” I emailed the booker to

discuss, no reply. I told some comics including the ones who previously told me that this booker made them uncomfortable, their response “bummer” & they kept working there. I asked this manager what she was gonna do & she essentially told me to “let it go.” This all made me never

wanna speak up again. I know this story is VERY minor in the scope of everything going on right now but I share this because it’s an example of how toxic masculinity works- a guy does something creepy, a woman tries to speak up, she’s erased, creepy behavior keeps being enabled

Now, if that’s how I’m treated for something as small as “hey dude your status about female comics on your line-ups having their period isn’t very professional” imagine what happens to women that go to management about sexual assault or harassment. That’s why they end up calling

people out online. Look, I’m not a fan of the term “cancelled” because like so many social media terms what does that even mean anymore? But I am a fan of holding people responsible for their actions especially when those actions are criminal. And I get why other comics didn’t

have my back because they didn’t wanna get fired too. It’s scary. Stand-up has no HR. It’s a job centered around drinking & late nights where being a mess is often applauded. Lines are easily blurred. Assholes can mask any & all creepy or hateful behavior as “just jokes”.

I don’t know what to do, I just know it makes me so sad that a job whose purpose is to bring people joy can hurt so many people. And I know what’s happening in comedy is a sliver of a larger societal issue that is overdue for a reckoning. So much right now overdue for a reckoning

I appreciate everyone speaking up on all issues. I also appreciate people who don’t speak up online but are doing the work offline. I also appreciate people who are silent because they’re traumatized or taking care of their mental health or just taking time to find their words