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It’s Pride month and I want to give a shout to all my fellow aces out there. As many of you might know (or not) I’m asexual. My personal asexuality - because we’re not all the same - leans toward I don’t see the point of sex, but I do love myself a nice romance. 1/?
This in particular is why I love romances in games, because it’s all the good parts and none of the messy and sometimes painful sex. I have a very weak spot for intelligent people. I’m probably mostly heterosexual, but I’ve been known to appreciate smart people of all kinds.2/?
Fortunately for me, it doesn’t really matter, because friendship is just as fulfilling as romance. Well, almost.
The reason I’m saying this is because everyone is expected to enjoy or want sex. I don’t. I don’t understand it. I don’t know what the big deal is. 3/?
The reason I’m saying this is because everyone is expected to enjoy or want sex. I don’t. I don’t understand it. I don’t know what the big deal is. 3/?
This caused me quite a bit of pain in close relationships, because I could never match my partner’s sex drive and eventually the relationship fell apart. I’ve also been forced into sexual relations when I haven’t wanted to, and being totally illiterate when it comes to sex, 4/?
unable to defend myself when my partner said “I thought you wanted to”, because how the heck should I know what signals I sent? I’m single now, and I expect to live the rest of my life alone, because sex always messes things up for me. 5/?
So, just to get to the effing point: the current norms around sexuality are harmful to aces, because it expects everyone to have a sex drive. If you don’t, you’re seen as abnormal and problematic. Everything in society says you have to have a partner to be happy. 6/?
For me it’s not true. When I don’t have to pretend to want sex, I’m happier. Trust me when I say that you apparently can’t love someone romantically without sex. It’s implicit in the relationship contract. I have loved all my boyfriends. I just didn’t want to sleep with them. 7/7
