Read on Twitter
1/ Okay, I’ve been seeing a handful of tweets with the tag #QueerTestimony primarily in posts detailing stories of coming to terms with both one’s sexuality, and spirituality as it relates to the LDS church. I’d like to share some thoughts:
2/ I’m sure, by now, anyone who follows me knows that I do not like the LDS organization. In fact I absolutely hate it. The thing that I’m sure I haven’t made nearly as clear is that I don’t think there is much inherently wrong with a person believing in Mormonism.
3/ I have some issues with the doctrine of the church, but for the most part I don’t have any issue with anyone having their own beliefs or religion.
4/ Where I do have an issue, however, is in supporting the LDS organization itself. This means financial support, this means having their webpage linked in your bio, this means identifying as ‘LDS’, ‘Mormon’, ‘ProgMo’, or anything alluding to the organization.
5/ I believe anyone who actively chooses to associate with the LDS church is choosing immorally, especially when they are aware of the terrible things that the church has done, especially where it concerns the LGBTQ+ community.
6/ Now, where this #QueerTestimony thing is concerned, what is my issue with LGBTQ+ Mormons? Actually, no further issue than what I’ve stated before, really.
7/I think if a queer person has a ‘testimony’ of Jesus, or the BoM or anything, that should be respected fully. I think supporting/promoting the church is where it becomes harmful.
8/ For a personal experience, now: I ‘came out’ to my LDS parents as gay when I was pretty young, 14 (I hadn’t planned on coming out, I was somewhat outed).
9/ It was a really tough time for my whole family. I expressed to them soon after coming out that I was not comfortable going to church and pleaded that they would let me stop going.
10/ They were unwilling to let me stop going to church, they believed that what I needed was “a relationship with God” . I would sneak out during sacrament meeting and walk home, because I would have anxiety attacks every Sunday. I had been deeply traumatized.
11/ Here’s where my issue with queer Mormons really comes in. My parents would use examples of ‘happy’ queer members to force me to go to church. Their stories were used as an excuse to perpetuate the trauma I had been experiencing.
12/ My parents would make me watch videos of gay men who had chosen to marry women, or stay celibate.
13/ My parents were largely more concerned with whether or not their son was an active Mormon over whether he was happy. Their minds were eventually changed, but all too late. I have years of trauma that will never go away.
14 / My parents are not the only parents who have/will use your stories to perpetuate the emotional trauma that queer kids in the church must go through.
15/ So, what? You shouldn’t share your stories? Of course you are allowed to share your stories. I want you to share your stories. But I urge you, for the sake of ending the cycle of abuse. Make it clear that you are the exception and not the rule.
16/ If you are a happy, well-functioning, queer Mormon, good for you I guess (you’re still supporting the church which I dislike about you but I guess I’m glad you’re happy). But please, please, please make it clear that your path is not worth the trauma for every queer child.
17/ If you’re going to use your platform within the church for anything, use it to tell parents that raising queer kids in the church is unsafe.
18/ I’d also like to note that I do not believe that things are getting better within the church. I don’t believe that gay temple marriage will happen, at least not this century.
19/ I don’t believe the church will change it’s stances on homosexuality any sooner than they will change their stance on chastity in general. I believe it is an unsafe place for any queer person.
20/ I believe that to be a Mormon is to not be an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.
21/ Also, I know I’ve made a lot of comments that were negative towards queer Mormons, and if I’m honest, most of those comments were directed towards some very specific queer Mormons (most of whom were people I’d met with through Twitter and are horribly pretentious and preachy)
22/ Since then, I’ve met good people who are also queer Mormons. So do I think all queer Mormons are bad? No, they just make bad choices
23/ I also hope that those of you who are queer members of the church, and are not happy, know that there is a loving community waiting with open arms for you if you chooseto leave. You will not lose everything by losing the church, I actually believe you will gain much more.
24/ I hope you aren't inflicting unnecessary trauma on yourselves and that if you are I hope that you will take the steps to be happier.
Okay, end of thread, but shout-out to @the_bradpad because his long thread made me feel like it's okay to make long ass thread lmao
