#metoo has finally hit the trad world and I’m ready to speak. I was 15, he was older. We were at a trad festival and staying in the same house. My parents were staying in another. He was sharing a room with another lad and we came back to it after we were done playing tunes.

He kept putting my hands on him and I kept pulling away. He kept telling me to do it, “you know you want to.” I kept saying no. After a while, the other lad told him that I didn’t want it and to stop. He told him to fuck off and that it was none of his business.

He rolled over and pretended to go to sleep. He heard the whole thing.

He kept pushing me and I did it to make him stop. He asked me if I’d ever pulled a fella before and I replied that I had had a boyfriend. He laughed and made me get him to finish. Afterwards he laughed again and said “you finally made a fella come”.

He went into the bathroom and I went downstairs to my bed and pretended like nothing had happened the next day. A month after, he and his friends posted all over Facebook about how I was “nasty, but a good pull.”

I had to guess my parents’ Facebook passwords and block him from their accounts so that they wouldn’t see it. I was blamed because he had a girlfriend at the time and I was “desperate”. Not to mention it was my word against his and he was (and is) well liked.

I stopped speaking. I lost friends. I stopped playing music, which had been my whole world. I was too scared to go to trad things anymore. I developed PTSD, generalised anxiety disorder and depression. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t leave my house for days at a time.

I’m sharing this because I want you to know that you’re not alone. By breaking my silence, I’ve taken back my power. Predators hide in plain sight and thrive when we don’t speak. I will ALWAYS listen to you and believe you. #Ibelieveher #metoo #trad