Struggling with CPTSD:

1. We avoid “needy” people when really it’s because we don’t want anyone “too present”.

2. We’re constantly on defense mode. Everyday is a war and everything in our immediate surroundings is a contender.

3. We continue on autopilot and remain unconscious

4. We never stop thinking and doing. To be still is to face everything, and silence has all the receipts.

5. We’re hostile and angry. But that’s just sadness taking on a different mask.

6. We believe the past has a fixation on us, when really it’s the other way around.

7. No one is to be trusted. When really it’s our own discernment to catch deceit we don’t trust.

8. The protective personality reigns and pride is in the forefront. But we’re headed nowhere.

9. We become obsessed with warning others and cling to the narrative that we’re victims and not overcomers.

10. We become rigid with routines. No spontaneity is allowed because surprises don’t feel safe.

11. We associate bliss with never having to engage with anything or anyone. Hermit mode activated.

12. We’re closed off from input. It’s our way or none at all. Everyone else that disagrees is the enemy.

13. We control everything but really we’re defenseless and sleep with 10,000 pounds of armor crushing our chest.

14. We throw ourselves head first into that which takes us from ourselves: work, other peoples business, mind numbing media.

15. All it takes is one gust of wind to knock down our dominoes and we feel we’re back to square one. Recovery becomes messy.

I said “we” instead of “you” because you’re not alone.

If any of this rings true, seek help and remember there’s nothing wrong with you. Be compassionate not brave. You deserved none of the things that led you here, but you do deserve to heal.