Thread by @Not_Real_John, This is my crush. Watch her special - it's amazing.Link: https://youtu.be/kD9bm1EFSpI #Comedy [...]

This is my crush. Watch her special - it& #39;s amazing.
Link: https://youtu.be/kD9bm1EFSpI ">https://youtu.be/kD9bm1EFS...
#Comedy #StandUp #StandUpComedy #Funny #LizMiele https://twitter.com/lizmiele/status/1264950110607327233">https://twitter.com/lizmiele/...

This is Trolling! Propaganda! Make it stop!

Also, people who have been contacted by the government have been fucking with me.
@FBI @FBICharlotte @CIA @NSAGov @NSACyber @DeptofDefense @USArmy @JeffBezos Can I have some money for my suffering? Venmo me @John_Michael_Reed

@FBI @FBICharlotte @CIA @NSAGov @NSACyber @DeptofDefense @USArmy @JeffBezos @BankofAmerica ,
But seriously, I ran for President (Google "John Reed For President") and ran into all these internet hacker trolls. I went to the FBI claiming "conspiracy" but they institutionalized me.

My internet girlfriend and I are NOT in a conspiracy! She has NOT been using her friends from The Comedy Cellar (I mean the Russian CIA) to wage an influence operation on me!

NO COLLUSION! NO CONSPIRACY! FAKE NEWS!
- realJohnReed

p.s. If she ever runs for President, vote 4 Liz!

@TheJusticeDept @FBI @FBICharlotte I filed this complaint (screenshot and confirmation attached). They didn& #39;t tell me anything, but I did get chased by police officers as I tried to run from a mental institution. One put me in a choke hold and held me while a nurse injected me.

@TheJusticeDept @FBI @FBICharlotte See this Twitter thread. There are a lot of jokes on my Twitter, but the previous Tweet in this thread is not a joke. I mean yeah I got some details of the story messed up, but that doesn& #39;t mean no civil rights violation occurred.

@realDonaldTrump @DeptofDefense @DefenseIntel @FBI @FBICharlotte @CIA @NSAGov @NSACyber @DeptofDefense @USArmy @JeffBezos @Facebook @Twitter @reddit @BankofAmerica @2nondoctors ,
Everybody around me started trolling! Why was I not included in the troll factory?
- realJohnReed

What is this, some kind of sick joke? This is #FakeNews cyber trolling!
Link: https://www.foxnews.com/us/amazon-jeff-bezos-guillotine-dc-protests">https://www.foxnews.com/us/amazon...

@DeptofDefense @USArmy @USNavy @USMC @SpaceForceDoD @DefenseIntel @CIA @FBI ,

What& #39;s the difference between the American military, the Russian military, and the Chinese military?

Answer: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcr3tdUCbQY4CQKTkHt5cauH-6vnRnjb

That">https://www.youtube.com/playlist... joke was called "psychological warfare".

- notRealJohn

Armies of America, Russia, and China! - YouTube

What's the difference between the American army, the Russian army, and the Chinese army?

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcr3tdUCbQY4CQKTkHt5cauH-6vnRnjb

"To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy& #39;s resistance without fighting."
- The Art of War

See previous Tweet.

@CIA @FBI I was very impressed by your psychological warfare. Your Zersetzung ( #In_practice">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zersetzung #In_practice).">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zers... You made a sociogram of my contacts and got to them. In Soviet Russia, dissident persecute you!
- https://youtu.be/C-CG5w4YwOI

p.s.">https://youtu.be/C-CG5w4Yw... Yeah I know it& #39;s 2:45AM - I get hypomanic.

First date dream... *sigh*
- https://youtube.com/watch?v=UvgcLTzwjVM&list=PLXcr3tdUCbQY8mkvGHS0GVQ-rqTVEzG-T&index=2&t=0s
https://youtube.com/watch... href="https://twtext.com//hashtag/Burglary"> #Burglary #Murder #Flowers

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">

p.s. The name of this playlist is "DATING". I miss my internet girlfriend

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Weinendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Weinendes Gesicht">.

The previous Tweet was a joke. Its name was "FANTASY VERSUS REALITY".

And yeah, I liked my own Tweet. I love myself. Literally...
- https://youtu.be/LpgRE8cbVpc

This">https://youtu.be/LpgRE8cbV... is also a joke, and its name is: "I& #39;m single now, bitch!"

Speaking of self-absorbed narcissists, Hey @realDonaldTrump! You may have a big ego, but my dick is HUUUGE...
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEl96I_4PuI&list=PLXcr3tdUCbQa3KG1goGpWTSFxJHipX6nH

p.s.">https://www.youtube.com/watch... That was not a joke. Oh, and have you ever noticed that missiles are shaped like dicks? That joke was called "Democrats don& #39;t need bombs."

"To me, war is a lot of prick waving, okay? Simple thing, that& #39;s all it is, war is a whole lot of men standing out in a field waving their pricks at one another."
- George Carlin ( https://youtu.be/jMwXR-1oajE )

https://youtu.be/jMwXR-1oa... href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump">@realDonaldTrump Cock fight?

- realJohnReed (See thread)

@JebBush You once said that Trump wasn& #39;t a serious candidate. @lizmiele and @JudahWorldChamp are professional stand up comedians. If I am in the race, it won& #39;t be a debate - it& #39;ll be a roast.
- realJohnReed #JokeCandidate

My friends have been acting really weird. Is it normal for them to send me really long computer virus links to weird medical treatments that involve consuming feces? I don& #39;t think so...

I think I figured out what& #39;s been going on. Things aren& #39;t always what they appear to be on the surface...

"... most people intuitively feel as if their & #39;self& #39; — otherwise known as their soul, or ego — exists in or near their eyes."
Source: https://www.livescience.com/19185-soul-eyes.html#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20new%20study,in%20or%20near%20their%20eyes.

See">https://www.livescience.com/19185-sou... photos...

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