The person who keeps breaking your heart, devastating, frustrating, humiliating, betraying and disappointing you is not your soulmate. They’re not. They’re a series of painful AS FUCK and heart-wrenching lessons in what love shouldn’t be. Keep the lessons but finally let them go.

The reason that this page exists is because I remember the pain. Vividly. I had never felt anything like it. I was in this surreal state of brokenness. A consuming fog. Once I began healing and looking at it objectively, I felt a duty to just talk about it. I knew I wasn’t alone.

I was living in a blur that I couldn’t wake up from. It felt like I wasn’t even a person. I wasn’t me for months. I couldn’t think clearly. Every time I forgave him, I hated myself more. It was 24/7 pain on top of pain. If you’re reading this, know that you don’t deserve that.

I consider myself pretty self-aware so the fact that I was realizing what was happening and feel how my self-esteem/self-respect were eroding was crippling. I learned that someone can make you sick. Something about the connection makes you self-loathing and pathetic. It’s toxic.

To anyone who is realizing that their consuming, confusing, and heartbreaking relationship isn’t worth holding onto: Stop torturing yourself by holding on. Their “love” is killing your soul. It’s time to focus on YOU & only you. I know it’s cliché but self love is what you need.

It’s incredibly hard to walk away and also incredibly painful to get left. I know. But you have to choose you and your life/future. Being without them will burn and sting and you will doubt everything. Still, keep going. Growth isn’t supposed to be comfortable. You’ve got this.