A FATHERS DAY THREAD:

Hey everybody whose dad is not in the picture for one reason or another: I am right there with you.

My dad died in 2011. We weren't estranged, but he was such a distant figure in my life that not a lot has changed in our relationship.

The week of my wedding, there was a dinner with all four of my fiancée's parents & my remaining one-- my dad.

My dad was more conversational at that dinner than I'd ever seen him in my life (the martinis probably helped). Like, he really turned it on for company.

My fiancée's stepdad, an extremely sweet and outwardly loving person, at one point said to my dad, "You must be very proud of your son."

My dad replied, "Oh yes, I'm very proud of him." I had never heard my father say those words before.

My father-in-law, who prompted my father to say those words, died in 2016. I am grateful to him for not just that experience...

...But also for the many moments of fatherly affection & affirmation he gave me, in my 40s, that I never quite received from my own dad growing up.

My dad was who he was & he did the best he could with the tools he had. I wish we could have been closer.

I will always be painfully aware that it was up to me to build that bridge and that I couldn't bring myself to do it.

If you have a dad like that, and it's not too late, maybe give it a shot. If you're in the same boat as me, forgive yourself.