This is the first photo I have of me & my Dad & the last photo I have of me & my Dad, just a few weeks before he died. My father would be extremely happy today seeing all the way things are changing for the positive. My father was an exemplar of change.

When I was a child he could be bigoted, homophobic, violent & alcoholic. But he was a self-reflective & generous man at heart. These attributes allowed him to break out of the constraints of small-mindedness & become a fuller & more loving human being, day by day, year by year.

In the mid-80’s my dad got sober, & he never took another drink or recreational drug. By the 90’s, spurred on by some family members who came out as gay, he became active in the LGBT movement, marching in gay pride rallies.

By the late 90’s and early 2000’s he began making systematic changes in which his own law firm & the corporations he represented handled women’s rights & diversity.

His firm gave insurance to gay couples as well as straight - this is in often-conservative St. Louis, Missouri - years before the same thing was happening in most firms in the big liberal coast cities.

But in addition to how he treated all people in his commitment to social issues, he also became a better father & person. He went from being a guy I wrote angry punk rock songs about as a teen to the first person I turned to any time I needed advice.

I loved my Dad as much as I loved anyone & I honestly didn’t think I was emotionally capable of missing someone as much as I’ve missed him over the past ten months.

Yet I’m grateful for that sense of loss - I know it’s merely the long trail of my own good fortune of having James Gunn Sr as my Dad, & I wish all of you could have met him.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad, & #HappyFathersDay to all the other Dads out there; if you are willing, take my father’s lead, & allow yourself to continuously change. It’s not the life we start with that counts, but what we make of it.