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I have been sexually harassed within the community, both while sober and while drunk.
I haven't really opened up to anyone about it because I have not been raped or groped, so I spent a lot of time convincing myself that it wasn't actually dire enough to be a problem.
I haven't really opened up to anyone about it because I have not been raped or groped, so I spent a lot of time convincing myself that it wasn't actually dire enough to be a problem.
But it still weighs on me. It still eats at me sometimes. To know how inebriated and vulnerable I was, to have my throat get tight when I remember certain things. From someone I barely know. Blaming myself for not saying "no" despite how stiff I was at unwanted contact.
I see situations in retrospect now. How anxious I was on the con floor during one day because I was trying to process my feelings about it.
"I was really drunk, I am really easy going while drunk. It's my fault. I should have been more clear. I could have just disengaged."
"I was really drunk, I am really easy going while drunk. It's my fault. I should have been more clear. I could have just disengaged."
But it was inappropriate. It wasn't something I explicitly asked for.
I don't hold any ill will for this person, hopefully you see this, but the way things happened and the way you have treated me in the past has resulted in me feeling confused and, frankly, uncomfortable.
I don't hold any ill will for this person, hopefully you see this, but the way things happened and the way you have treated me in the past has resulted in me feeling confused and, frankly, uncomfortable.
I felt like I should've been flattered when you wrapped your arm around me and joked that I am your "wife" when another person came over to talk.
When you asked if I would theoretically if I would sleep w/ you.
When you commented on how "sensual" I am and I responded "I know."
When you asked if I would theoretically if I would sleep w/ you.
When you commented on how "sensual" I am and I responded "I know."
My self esteem about my attractiveness is low, so I sat there and took everything as a compliment. No big deal.
But you are married. I was too drunk to *stand* at one point.
I have been treated much more terribly by men. But this has still been a weight in my chest.
But you are married. I was too drunk to *stand* at one point.
I have been treated much more terribly by men. But this has still been a weight in my chest.
And everyone coming out to talk about things that have happened to them, made me realized that it is okay if I look back on this with discomfort and reconcile how I really, honestly feel about it instead of denying that it wasn't okay. It never was.
I didn't want to say anything because, again, I have been convincing myself that it was fine. It was fine. Nothing happened. Don't let it bug you.
I barely mentioned it to anyone at all.
I should have said no when you FIRST MET ME and leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
I barely mentioned it to anyone at all.
I should have said no when you FIRST MET ME and leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
This thread is me declaring that I was not okay with it. I have to admit to myself that it's a big reason I almost had a panic attack on the GC convention floor.
This isn't for clout/to jump on the bandwagon. It's to parse how things affected me in a way that I can make known.
This isn't for clout/to jump on the bandwagon. It's to parse how things affected me in a way that I can make known.
