Everyone wants a kind and sensitive and understanding manager, but I'll tell you, as one of those managers, that every day you find someone who perceives that as a weakness and tries to take advantage of it.

It's a commitment to stay decent.

You ask people, and they make a mistake.

You ask again, you get an excuse.

It's almost as though they don't take you seriously unless you pull out a whip and a chair. And then when you do, they melt down in a puddle.

then being female they expect you to comfort them.

A man can be nice and kind and still get results, because there's assumed power underneath and respect for the fact it's not being used.

I honestly find that if I don't pull out the whip and the chair occasionally, it's as though some people forget I actually have it.

And then, if I do use it, then all of a sudden there's shock and anger, and people get seriously pissy.

I don't think Men get the same kind of emotional responses women do to performance management issues.