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Men: Every man was made, designed, and built to be a father. I don’t just mean biologically. Not every man needs to marry, and many married men are unable to have children biologically. But all men can be fathers: step, surrogate, adoptive, vocational, spiritual, etc.
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If u don& #39;t pursue becoming some type of father, u will not experience the joy of what it means 2 b a man to the extent u were intended, that is, a man whose strength is aimed at building and empowering others rather than destruction, exploitation, self-gratification, or greed.
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What does being a father look like? It will depend on the type of father you become, but generally it will involve becoming:
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1. A Courageous Protector
- Preventing your “children” frm being permanently damaged or killed (whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or vocationally) while still allowing them to experience the pain, difficulty, & hardship that makes them stronger.
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- Preventing your “children” frm being permanently damaged or killed (whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or vocationally) while still allowing them to experience the pain, difficulty, & hardship that makes them stronger.
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-Guarding against outside threats.
-Guarding against the threats of foolishness or self-absorption using expectations/rules, correction, and painful consequences aimed at exposing deadly stubbornness.
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-Guarding against the threats of foolishness or self-absorption using expectations/rules, correction, and painful consequences aimed at exposing deadly stubbornness.
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2. A Diligent Provider
-Working hard to give your “children” what they need to survive, grow, and flourish as a father or mother.
-Teaching and training
-Listening and encouraging
-Connecting and resourcing
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-Working hard to give your “children” what they need to survive, grow, and flourish as a father or mother.
-Teaching and training
-Listening and encouraging
-Connecting and resourcing
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3. A Consistent Example
-Demonstrating mature character, that is, consistent virtuous behavior amidst hardship and stress: love, self-control, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, courage, justice, etc.
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-Demonstrating mature character, that is, consistent virtuous behavior amidst hardship and stress: love, self-control, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, courage, justice, etc.
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-Showing how to treat others with love and respect (relationally, romantically, professionally), especially showing boys and men how to treat women as partners who possess a different but equally important way of being in the world and who should never be demeaned or exploited
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-Modeling how to face life’s various circumstances
- Acknowledging mistakes and asking for forgiveness where needed
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- Acknowledging mistakes and asking for forgiveness where needed
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4. A Skillful Wiseman
-Cultivating an appreciation for beauty, goodness & truth
-Developing a wide range of life skills to pass on
-Always learning how the world, in all its complexities, really works, avoiding self-righteous ideologies that demonize others or fail 2 b honest
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-Cultivating an appreciation for beauty, goodness & truth
-Developing a wide range of life skills to pass on
-Always learning how the world, in all its complexities, really works, avoiding self-righteous ideologies that demonize others or fail 2 b honest
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-Reading and listening to others, especially those that challenge you and what you think and those that came before us
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5. An Emotionally Intelligent Person
-Able to identify your own emotions, recognize how they are impacting your thinking & behavior w/out allowing them to control u.
-Able to identify & empathize w/ how others are feeling while remaining present yet differentiated frm them.
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-Able to identify your own emotions, recognize how they are impacting your thinking & behavior w/out allowing them to control u.
-Able to identify & empathize w/ how others are feeling while remaining present yet differentiated frm them.
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-Able to be vulnerable emotionally without being manipulative or overwhelming
6. A Happy Friend
-Enjoying life’s blessings and laughing together
-Experiencing adventures together
-Wondering at beauty together
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6. A Happy Friend
-Enjoying life’s blessings and laughing together
-Experiencing adventures together
-Wondering at beauty together
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This isn’t easy, but with help, you CAN do it even if you haven’t had good fathers in your life. Find a community of men to help you get started.
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