Thread by @littlebluerobot, Hello. I’m coming out of private for a bit to talk to [...]

Hello. I’m coming out of private for a bit to talk to folks who’ve come forward about abuse. I want to offer some insight on my experiences and my healing. I’m not a mental health expert, just a person who’s been through some stuff, so YMMV.

First off, you might be alarmed by the attention your post is getting. You may get thousands of favs, RTs, and comments, not to mention DMs. You may have the impulse to read everything. This is a powerful sensation, but you really shouldn’t spend hours each day doing this.

There will be the odd shitty person on your post or in your DMs and your brain will focus on those instead of the supportive messages. Step away and set limits on how you interact with your own post. You need space from it.

Maybe you can tell a loved one “Hey, I need you to take my phone for an hour while I take a bath, ok?” Get back to a non-social-media-centered life as much as possible.

The media may try to get a hold of you. They may somehow have your phone number! You don’t have to speak to anyone. Some journalists, we’ve learned, really don’t have your best interests at heart and recounting your story can make you really vulnerable.

Be cautious and only do what YOU want to do. Be prepared for your name to appear in huge publications even if you never spoke to them with no warning to you. You owe nothing to anyone.

Bad folks might come for you in tweets, messages, etc. Do not engage. If they’re threatening, report to law enforcement and the appropriate social channels. This one is short because they don't deserve an ounce of your energy.

You may have no interest in eating or bathing, or really anything else. It will either feel pointless or you’ll feel too tired to do it. I get it, 100%. That said, you do need to bathe, so try to make it a goal to reach every day.

When you do, reward yourself with something nice, like a new type of tea for your collection, or some nice stationary, or anything that is special to you. It'll start to feel easier in time.

I mentioned eating will feel pointless. You might have no appetite or be actively nauseated all the time. Bland and easy to make foods are your friends. Plain toast, plain rice, porridge, etc. Take vitamins to make up for the nutrition you’re losing by eating limited foods.

I think I lived off of sushi rice for at least two months. Eventually I added in a fried egg for a bit of protein. Drink lots of water as well. You might have to kind of force yourself to do this.

Sleep. Your sleep might turn upside down. You might stop sleeping altogether, you might only sleep in the day, you might sleep intermittently throughout random intervals. Listen to your body. Nap anytime you need to.

But do meet with a doctor you trust to discuss your sleep issues. Your body needs rest and there are a lot of things you can do to help normalize your sleep schedule, starting with practicing good "sleep hygiene".

I found that falling asleep was very hard and very emotionally painful. Podcasts and audiobooks can help you drift off listening to cool stories and soothing voices. And to be honest, any moment alone with my thoughts was a nightmare.

I would listen to these things any time there was silence, including during bathing. It’s ok if this is what you need to cope. Don’t be embarrassed. As long as your coping mechanism isn't actively hurting you or someone else, it's not wrong to do it.

Perhaps you’ve never gone to therapy before. Maybe you’ve never been on drugs for mental health issues before. Maybe the thought of seeking either of these things is scary. I urge you to really treat this like you would any health problem, like a broken limb or bad wound.

You need counselling and possibly medication. The sooner you seek it, the better. It’s okay to not click with your therapist, try someone else who you mesh with better. Also I recently started antidepressants and they’ve probably saved my life. I should have been on them ages ago

You may need therapy for a long time. Some appointments will feel like you’ve made no progress, keep doing them anyway. I don't think I will ever stop going to therapy because it helps me so much. I love therapy.

Speaking of progress, you might reach a point, a few months or more from now, where all of a sudden you feel like your mental health is declining. Like you’re “going backwards”. Trauma doesn’t have a schedule and isn’t linear.

You’re not doing anything wrong for this to happen. You will feel better eventually and also, the pain of trauma will eventually weave back into your life again and this is ok. There is no time limit on your healing.

You need support. If you live alone, consider having a loved one come stay with you for a bit or moving in with someone you trust who can help care for you. You will come to rely on them a lot so make sure it’s someone you know loves you and will be there for you.

Please please resist the impulse to try and be alone all the time. You need love around you.

You may feel bullied by people online or IRL who don’t believe you or disagree with you. The lure of their criticism may feel powerful, and this is because you’re extremely vulnerable right now. You need love and trust and gentle understanding right now, not attacks and criticism

Your therapist or psychologist will be equipped to help you talk through certain things in a SAFE way and only when you are READY. You need to take care of yourself and only yourself right now.

Work. I wasn’t able to work for a long time. You might feel like you should “just get on with it” and get to work. I can’t tell you what’s right for you here.

All I can say is that if you have the financial ability to not work for awhile, or can get some kind of financial assistance, it may be best to simply be off work for awhile so you can heal. Don’t rush back into work if you can help it.

And hey, you may feel fine and get back to work and realize you’re not and this is ok. It’s hard to know exactly how you’ll feel, it’s ok to say “actually, this isn’t working out”. Remember your health and well-being are number one.

I won’t sugarcoat it. The industry might distance itself from you. You may have trouble getting work. It may or may not be because you came forward. Regardless of how you’re treated, you did nothing wrong, and it will be ok, even if it feels like life will never return to normal

But do pay attention to who avoids you. They may not intend to be malicious but their actions do say something whether they realize it or not. Pay attention to who supports you. Your path forward may look murky or even impossible right now and that’s ok.

It will look clearer in time. Keep doing things that are important to you, that you’re passionate about. Keep learning and growing.

When you feel ready, talking to people who’ve been through what you have can be deeply healing. Keep in mind though that they may not be ready to talk and this is ok. Your therapist may recommend specific support groups and it’ll feel weird but try it.

I’ve found talking through similar experiences helps me feel less alone. Thank you to those who've talked to me and let me listen to you

Speaking of feelings: your trauma might make you feel really unhinged. You might have new and unexpected reactions to things, you might have nightmares or hallucinations or believe things that are not real. You might have PTSD.

This does happen and is actually a lot more common than you think. You will feel like what you’re experiencing is beyond the pale, but speaking with a good therapist or mental health clinician will show you why this happens and what to do to cope in a healthy way.

Stuff that felt good for me: Moving my body gently in yoga (for free at home with YouTube!) and then eventually with a bit of cardio and dance via Ring Fit and Just Dance. Audiobooks in the fantasy genre that I could “lose myself” in.

When I had energy, cooking new stuff helped me like eating again. Ended up subscribing to one of those meal box things which has been great and saved me trips to the store. I love it. I'm eating more nutritiously than ever before.

Lots of light, gentle games like Animal Crossing. Playing and listening to music, too. Crafting, even if you're bad at it, is therapeutic :)

I want you to know that I’m so proud of you and I support you fully. I see your strength and your bravery and wish I could hug you all.

You’ve got this, I promise. You will be ok. You will <3

Something I forgot: what you used to know as your “gut instinct” might feel really unreliable for awhile

You might randomly distrust perfectly nice people for no reason at all. Your brain just doesn’t know how to deal and wants to protect you.

I have no fix for this other than to talk to your therapist and know it eventually goes away. It will make you feel really ridiculous but I view it as your brain saying, “Better safe than sorry!” Thank u brain

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