jin as the city boy who got very lost on his hiking trip, & jk as the super upbeat recluse who lives his zero-waste organic life in the middle of nowhere, who accidentally knocks seokjin tf out when the latter pops out of the bushes in the dark & tries to ask him for directions.. https://twitter.com/lachAUsso/status/1257389074983329795

"ugh these branches - hey, HEY ARE YO-"

"AAA NOT TODAY BIGFOOT!!" [THWACK]

"..."

"....."

"oh shit."

seokjin wakes up with his whole face feeling like a big bruise and then jungkook's face swims into his view like OJO

"ugh i feel like shit."

"don't worry there won't be any permanent damage, it's just ur face -"

"my FACE??? NOT MY FACE YOU MONSTER!!" seokjin screams, trying to turn on his front camera to check but his phone is dead.

"where's ur bathroom i need to see a mirror rn!"

"there's an outhouse. i decided to dispose of the ..waste .. naturally. much better for the environment!"

seokjin blinks. "listen to me mf," he says. "if there's even a scratch on this flawless face, i will compost YOU."

while seokjin rants away jk privately wonders is it's kinda hot bc he hasn't interacted with another human for a long long time or because -

"the AUDACITY! istg i will turn u into MANURE!!"

yep. it's all that talk about composting & recycling that has him hot and bothered

hmm maybe seokjin also has a badly twisted ankle that he remembers as soon as he tries to stand up in rage and he wobbles like a noodle before jungkook catches him. bridal style ofc.

"be careful! you could've hurt urself!" jungkook says, carrying him like he weighs nothing.

but jin is still mad.

"no fuck u forest man! u can't distract me with muscles! i was going to stomp out of here in rage & i will do it! go on, carry me out while i curse u."

"it's 12 am"

"do it."

"well alright"

so jk executes a neat lil march out the door while jin swears self-righteously in his arms, and then -

"we should elevate ur ankle, doesn't it hurt after being jostled around like this?"

"i'm not some wilting flower," seokjin says, very visibly in pain.

"well i'm scared of the dark, so let's go in."

"hm, sure, since you're scared. wouldn't want u to punch someone else again," seokjin sniffs and jk grins.

"yes, i'm trembling in fear. let's run to safety," he says, carrying jin back in and thinking about extra pillows & blankets

dsfjhsdfj lmao so jungkook has an oldass nokia phone that's a brick but somehow still runs. his charger cable doesn't work with jin's iphone.

"u can just call from my phm. what's ur friend's number?"

"uh - i - don't know."

"..."

"hey who memorises phn numbers these days!"

"don't u have a car or smt? how do u get supplies?? how do u keep in touch with... u know... other human beings?"

"i walk." jk shrugs. "sometimes namjoon hyung stops by with supplies & i give him some stuff to recycle."

seokjin stares at him.

"damn... u really live like this."

DKJFJK the thought of seokjin waking up the next morning alone in the house & hobbling to the window to see jk chopping wood, shirtless, chris evans style.

(u know what i'm talking abt.)

"why am i living the life of a white woman in a bad romance novel" he says to himself.

"HEY!" he yells, making jungkook jump and nearly chop his foot off, "can u rip one apart with ur bare hands?"

"huh?" jungkook yells back, confused. "why are u walking around on that ankle? sit down"

"don't tell me what to do!"

jungkook comes back inside with the wood & sets the axe down, dabbing away the sweat on the back of his neck with his rolled up shirt. seokjin takes one look at him & firmly looks tf away, focusing instead on the soup cans jk has apparently repurposed into lil planters for herbs.

"aren't they cute?" jungkook says, beaming at a lil sprout growing in a can of tomato soup.

"yea sure. are any of these weed?"

"no."

seokjin sighs.