TW sexual assault:

I said no both times. The first time he pulled my hair and said “you know I won’t stop” the second time I kicked him in the shoulders & face multiple times, he laughed. We ended up in a very abusive relationship and I felt like it devalues the times I said no
I was not the only girl he assaulted.

He also threatened to attend and stalk me at SGDQ after we broke up and had in the past (while I was at uni and away from him) would send me abusive messages and then go into twitch chats of streamers I enjoyed to try and talk to me there.
I was terrified of him for so long. Even now that I’m medicated for PTSD and anxiety when I’m home and see a truck that looks like his i get terrified he’ll learn I’m in town. For a while post-breakup I was worried he would hurt my family/pets as he knew where they all lived.
And, while we are talking about his abuse in general, we started streaming around the same time. I am no means successful but I grew faster than him. Once, my favourite streamer raided me and after stream I texted him in excitement and was made to feel bad because “wow I wish I-
could have growth like that. I guess I’m just not good at this” (and more like this). Nothing I could do mattered if he didn’t also see growth from it.

Finally, he also once threatened to dump chemicals on one of my pets.

Anyway this got away from just sexual assault but yeah
I could post the whole thread of messages but idk if I’m about that yet. But last time we talked was December 2016 where he called me self-righteous so I reminded him he was a rapist. Apparently that’s mine because he “learned from his mistakes”
I wish I could go way back into Skype/Kik/old texts and make a giant compilation of this shit because it was years of emotional manipulation.

While I’m here: he also had no problem calling my black friend the nword and using other racial slurs.
Wrapping it up by saying the first time I tried to leave him he tried to physically restrain me in his room so I couldn’t get out. I did, but I was crying so hard I couldn’t drive so I sat on the steps and heard a loud thump from the kitchen. I went in and he was slumped over-
the stove. We talked it out because I was terrified. He later told me if I left he would’ve turned the burners on or cut his chest open with a kitchen knife (something he had done in the past with another ex). I was scared to leave for a long time after that.
Some context to this thread of videos (can only upload 45s at a time). The night before he sent me some happy tree friends-esque videos that I didn’t find funny and told him to stop. That thanksgiving he also begged to come to my party (we were still trying to be friends).
He made a point for so long about wanting to meet my new boyfriend and he finally saw a chance. A friend (L) talked me into letting him come. Same friend has since apologized AND punched my ex when he found out about the abuse. L and I are still very chill.
just before Christmas 2016 Kendra told me he was talking shit about me to her (she was a mutual friend that I met through him). So I confronted him and that’s how this all happened. Looking back at these videos, I still wish I handled it better.
Ending this by saying: jokes on him Kendra and I are still very good friends and I’ll be one of her bridesmaids at her wedding next year. I’m still with my “funny looking boyfriend” and I don’t care if he “dislikes my existence” my life isn’t for him.
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