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Today is father's day. I have a father he is still alive, I grew up in his house, but I don't know if he deserves to be called that by me. I love him don't get me wrong, I am his seed, but year after year I wondered if I was truly his daughter. But the resemblance couldn't deny.
He failed to buy me clothes, that God had to touch outsiders to be my helpers. I got clothes from people I didn't even know. No I wasn't the only child, we suffered the same fate, but as we grew older I realized it hits hard on me more than the others.
I would be beaten for things I knew nothing about, my siblings blamed for every thing, maybe they thought I don't feel pain, I can take their strokes as well. And their blame games awarded me a name, (selo se sa utlwing). He didn't have interest in my side of a story.
To him I could never tell the truth. I would go days without food, and I ended up being served by a rubbish bin. I made a decision to seek for matogo at the age of 14. By God's grace I got 5 houses to do their laundry. Still no one believed me.
They concluded I get money from men. I continued working though. When I didn't get paid, I would be denied food, but when I get paid I would be treated like a saviour. I forgot that I didn't have shoes, because I loved the way they treated me when I had money.
So I would spend everything just to be loved by them. Then my darkest hour came, I was raped, instead of him trying to understand my pain, all I could get from him was. O kgotsofetse! I needed a father to sympathize with me, but I guess I was alone.
I want to see a father in him so bad, but I can't. Happy father's day to all deserving fathers.
