1. Guide to the taxonomy of collaborators: The disappointment - "I know I promised you the data three months ago & three months before that I promised you the data 3 months before that but I swear we are doing the experiment RIGHT now so you will have the data in three months."

2. The hustler -"we started doing the experiments we agreed that we would do & they turned out really great so some people in my lab started doing more experiments on this & they were even MORE AWSOME & we are basically going to be pursuing this full time now, thanks for the tip"

3. The big shot - "I know we said we would do these experiments but we need to prioritise & we have this collaboration w/ a nobel prize winner & once we are done with that collaboration & the Cell paper is in press in about a year from now we'll see if i can find time for you"

4. The Optimist: "I know you are waiting for this data for your revision & we said we would do these experiments & although they failed the first 25 times we tried them we are tweaking & I really believe we will have this data for you in the very near future, fingers crossed!"

5. The perfectionist:"the experiment worked & we got the data you asked for but we so far only managed to repeat the experiment 8 times & our N is only 10000 & the P value is still only 0.00005 so you will have to wait 6 more months until we can send you publication quality data"

6. The disappearing act: "sorry for not replying to any of your 15 emails or retuning the 7 phone calls, I was away at a conference, in fact I am at one right now and can't really talk about the collaboration. Why don't you send an email out next week?"

7. The life saving angel: "I know we said the experiment you asked for would take a year but we finished it in 3 months. Since it worked out so well we did these other 3 experiments & have 3 extra figures worth of data for you, thank you for including us in this awesome story!"

8. The arguer: "I read your manuscript & completely disagree with how you structured it, your interpretation of the data & the model you propose. I have taken the liberty to completely rewrite the manuscript focusing on what I find most interesting"

9. The innovator: "I know we discussed us doing a simple antibody staining on wild type moue kidney sections, but we got to thinking, what if we did electrophysiology on Drosophila larva fed high fat diet instead. Wouldn't that be the better experiment?"

10. The absent minded professor: "did we not send you the data already? I thought I had it somewhere on my desk on a napkin but I can't find it right now. But I did just find this excellent Moussaka recipe that I was looking for 3 months ago, happy to send that to you for now"

11. Every single one of our collaborators is a #7, big thanks to all of you, we wouldn't be able to do anything without your help.