Scene: Corporate Marketing zoom call, Monday morning.
Soulless marketing drone: Chad I have some great news!"
Soulless marketing executive: Karen, you don't mean Funko is finally making a Sambo doll?
Karen: No, good work news.
Chad: Oh well.
1/x
Karen: I was working this weekend on our BLM message.
Chad: You mean our "We know you people still love pancakes!" campaign?
Karen: Yes, and that's what my news is about!
2/x
Chad: Lobbying the administration has worked and we can now call any caramel colored corn sludge we want "maple syrup"?
Karen: Not yet. But you told me to let you know if the time was ever right for the rebranding. Chad, the time will never be better.
3/x
Karen cont: Not only will we be able to shed an antiquated caricature, we are going to get a LOT of free press about it. Rebranding with a groundswell of feel-good stories.
Chad: But won't change make some people feel uncomfortable?
4/x
Karen: We ran the numbers and the positive spin will more than make up for any abandonment. We predict only a 2 week, 10% uptick of people posting pictures of their firearms on social media as they process those uncomfortable feelings.
5/x
Chad: Sounds great, let's get this announced by Wednesday. I'm going to head into the office and grab all our old branded collateral--this stuff is going to be worth a fortune once she's gone!
6/6
You can follow @roymeo.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: